Day 3472 – Permission To Say No – or – JEN SINCERO LOOKED AT ME!

One thing I’ve been wanting to talk about for a little while is giving yourself permission to say no….as well as reminding you it’s ok to say no….which I will, but first, I wanted to geek out a little bit.

A few days back, we went to see Jen Sincero speak and it was a truly wonderful experience. I want to do more things like that. It was a speaking/book signing event. I did take two books to be signed, but we were like number 540 in line and we’d had a particularly long few days, so while it would have been great to have a few seconds with her and get my books signed, I decided it was just not worth losing even more sleep over.

During her talk, she had great audience interaction. Dudes, she looked RIGHT at me! Several times! So amazing.

So saying no. There are lots of reasons we say no to things.

I say no to alcohol because I’m a former alcoholic. There are times when I say no to events because of alcohol. I’d say 95% of the time, I’m totally ok with being around other drinkers, going into a liquor store, or going on a getaway where I’ll be around drinkers. But there is a small number of times when I’m just not. I have a lot more to learn about myself and my drinking past that I’m still dealing with, and I just have to say no.

I say no to watching movies with nudity because I struggle with remembering the images. One of the most important things in my life is my marriage to Bret, anything that could take away from that, I fight against it. I have no problem with others watching nudity, but I know myself and my limits, so I just have to say no.

I say no to some TV shows that raise my anxiety.

I stopped watching football, mostly for time….but also because at the end of the day, my Ravens won’t win every game….so why put myself through the stress of “will they/won’t they/WHY DID YOU DO THAT?/THAT REF IS AN IDIOT!” for a few hours?

But you know most of this since I’ve blogged about it before. What I’ve found makes saying no harder is when others don’t understand why or, and I think this is the bigger reason, they don’t struggle with what you’re saying no to. I’ve found that some will never understand you. Just like I cannot understand how someone can have a glass of wine at dinner, not finish it, and not want to finish the bottle…Even being sober for over four years, I still can’t comprehend this.

When we have to spend twenty minutes finding a movie to watch that doesn’t have nudity, it can be hard to explain my reasons to those who don’t have a problem with it.

When I have to say no to seeing people or canceling a social thing because Bret needs the car for an appointment, or basically any of the changes we have to make for running a business, it can be hard to express why it takes priority.

But here’s the truth, some people will never understand where you’re coming from. No matter how many times you explain it, or try a different approach, or even hand puppets with pie charts, they just won’t get it.

So I want to remind you it’s OK to say no. I’m giving you permission to say NO. I’m also giving you (and myself) permission to let go of the worry and wish that they would understand you.

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Day 3235 – When To Step Away From The Computer

A major portion of my work is done on a computer. From blogging to writing to work for clients, most of my job is on the computer. Yesterday, I powered through a course I purchased and spent hours on the computer. This caused my back to become sore, specifically the muscle controlling the mouse. I knew I had to get off the computer and stop working for the day. It’s harder for me to stop working on the weekends because I see it as “project day” and I want to get a lot done. But I have to listen to my body and stop when I need to.

Thankfully, my soreness is gone and I can work today.

Does your body let you know when you need to stop?

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Day 3180 – Make Up Your Own Holiday – Say No Day

Since adding this fun day, Make Up Your Own Holiday, into my marketing calendar, I’ve been thinking what holiday would I create. There were a few contenders – minimalist day, prioritize your marriage day, say no to downgrading marriage entertainment day (this would be movies that make light of marriage and/or make you cheer for a spouse to cheat or leave).

But at the end of the day, saying no has been a big thing in my life and I want to champion it.

I think the biggest hurdle in saying no is the guilt and judgement you face. Society wants us to say yes to everything, people want us to say yes to them, it’s hard to understand when someone says no, especially if saying no is drastic. I know this is the hardest part of me saying no to different things. I say no for lots of reasons to lots of things. Some of them are very very painful.

At the heart of saying no to things is taking care of yourself. We are our biggest resource and we are a limited resource. If you don’t say no to things, you will use up your resource. You cannot work 24/7 forever. You cannot stay awake forever. You cannot play that game forever. You cannot help others all the time forever.

By saying no, I protect myself, our marriage, and our businesses.

What are you saying no to today?

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Day 3119 – One Of My Secrets To Reading A Lot

Last night, I realized one of my secrets to reading more – a comfy place to read. Since Bret was out and not using the other chair, I created the reading boat, and stuffed it full of blankets and pillows. I read a delightful book about introverts too.

As I’ve said before, my word this year is No. I say no to a lot of things. This quote came up in my travels yesterday, and I really think it applies.

The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything. – Warren Buffett

A lot of my success and personal growth has come from being able to say no, and not feeling bad about it. (lol, it’s been a looooonnnnnggggg process).

So, I said no to more work (it was getting pretty late in the day), I said no to playing games or watching TV, and I cuddled up, and caught up on some reading.

Like the chairs? We love them, and highly recommend them. You can get them here! (this is an Amazon affiliate link, so if you order them or something else on Amazon, you won’t pay any more, and we’ll get a small percentage)

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
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Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget.
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
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