Day 3466 – Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

Last year, I did a bible reading plan that took me through the whole bible. I completed it, but if I’m being honest, it didn’t make a big difference in my life, it didn’t touch my soul. Sure there were some days that I got something out of it, at the end of the day though, it was about checking it off my list.

As 2019 approached, I started thinking about what I would do for my devotional reading. I’ve had an ESV study bible for years, have tried to read the whole thing a few times, but didn’t have much success. For some crazy reason, this chick thought this year would be a good time to read all 2750 pages, on which the text is 9pt and the notes are 7 pt – basically, a whole lot of reading.

I kept trying to talk myself out of it. I kept seeing the massiveness of it all. I really didn’t want to do it.

I think my mind kept going to how little I got out of last year. Despite trying to get out of it, I decided to start, taking the pressure off myself to read it in a year, to just go down the list of chapters and additional material, and finish when I finish.

What happened on the very first day surprised me but it reminded me that I had a similar experience on previous attempts – I got really excited about what I read. What’s neat about the study bible is that it expands, explains, and gives background on what you read. Deepening my understanding about the Word of God has already been a really awesome experience. Every day, I’ve been excited to read and leave my devotions uplifted and in awe of God.

So if you’re looking at big, hunkin’ book (whether printed or otherwise) and thinking it’s going to be one way, give it a chance and it might surprise you.

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Day 3460 – Can A Christian Drink? What Happens When A Christian Is An Alcoholic? – repost

I have to say, this is one of my most popular posts. I’m so happy that my life has taken the turns that it has and that I am in a place where I’m ok sharing my struggles and God’s success in me. And a little p.s. to y’all going out drinking tonight, don’t try to drive. It’s just not worth it. My DUI put me in so much debt. Even if you have to spend $100 to get home tonight, it’s well worth it.

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Today I finally shared my testimony at church. It went SO well. I’m grateful for the process to get to the stage, all of the people who gave me advice and listened to me practice. I only cried at one part (more so in the first service!) which surprised me….but it was always the part I cried when I did cry.

It will be a few days/weeks until the video is online, but I figured there are some who have been waiting to hear the full story. Here is the text of what I shared.

“I am a recovered alcoholic. Not a typical term that you hear, I know. But I didn’t really like “recovering alcoholic” as if I will forever be a sober person struggling to stay sober, not changed completely by God’s work in my life.

I felt God prompting me to share this, even though this isn’t the “easy” testimony. I’ve thought about sharing this in some form or another since about a month or two after I quit drinking.

So why am I sharing it now? I think that what I have to say may help someone realize that if God is telling you to do something, He will give you the strength to walk through it. To fully understand how I got to this point, I have to take you back about 9 years.

I was working a retail job in 2006 and nearly every Friday night, I was out with my co-workers, getting drunk. I didn’t really drink a whole lot before this job, so for me to be going out every Friday night was not like me. But it happened so gradually, I didn’t notice.

In the fall of 2006 I was driving home from another late night at the bar. As I was driving home, I was texting someone saying “man, I should not be driving right now.” I say that and just shake my head at myself. Texting and driving AND drinking and driving. Well, thankfully, I was pulled over before anyone was hurt. I was arrested for a DUI. Having to call my mom to get me out of jail was probably one of the most humbling things I’ve had to do.

I had a few drinks in the weeks that followed, but my lawyer advised me to stop drinking. So I did. I was sober for a year after that. I went to court mandated group meetings and classes. Even sitting in the group, I didn’t think I had a problem. It was just a dumb mistake I made.

When my year of probation was over, I went out and celebrated with some friends….how? By drinking. Again, I look back and shake my head.

In the years that have followed, I haven’t been arrested again, but I have done some really stupid things.

I was so hungover at my best friend’s wedding, that she held MY flowers right before walking down the aisle so I could go throw up.

I’ve thrown up in my friend’s bushes during a party.

I’ve locked myself in the bathroom, at another friend’s house sobbing for nearly an hour because of a movie.

I’ve gotten drunk with clients two days before their wedding.

I’ve gone to church severely hungover.

I’ve snuck hard liquor and not told Bret how much I had to drink.

I’ve drunk cooking wine.

Up until I stopped drinking, on all but one of my getaways with Bret, I would drink myself silly, which cut the trip short and ruined the time.

I’ve missed several opportunities to witness about Christ because I had too much to drink to think clearly.

On the last night I drank, Bret and I were supposed to do evening devotions, but we didn’t because I was so intoxicated.

After many of these humiliating moments, I would swear off alcohol. I would be ashamed of myself. How could a Christian act like this? I’d tell myself I won’t drink again. I would journal and ask God’s forgiveness. Many times, if not every time, this verse came up:

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8

Every time I read it, I’d mentally agree and think “this is it. I can do this.”

But then a few months would go by and I would think, “Oh it’s our anniversary,” “Oh, it’s so and so’s birthday,” “Oh! It’s Tuesday!” And there I was again, right back where I was before. It would start slow and then would be a full blown problem again. It was an endless cycle.

My breaking point was not that big of a deal, comparatively. I was watching TV with my mom, and because of the alcohol content, I drank essentially 7 and a half beers….in two hours.

The next morning, like many mornings before, I felt terrible about drinking that much. I again journaled my regrets. Again, “be sober-minded” came up in my devotions. But this time, I really started thinking seriously about it. Previously, I would swear off alcohol right away, but it wasn’t a serious commitment because I really didn’t think it through. This time, I weighed both sides and thought through things for several days.

I finally took my sin seriously.

I reasoned that what I lost by not drinking ever again was not even worth comparing to what I would gain. I finally admitted to myself that I had a problem. I finally admitted I couldn’t do this on my own. I finally surrendered myself to God’s way. I have been sober for about a year and a half.

Here’s what I’ve learned – God very patiently told me to quit drinking, but I didn’t listen for a long time. A VERY long time! When I did though, He very richly blessed me. I haven’t had a craving for alcohol. I haven’t been tempted to drink. I can be around people who drink. I haven’t second guessed my decision. I have found strength I didn’t know I had, His strength in me. It has become an easy thing. I listened to God’s command and I was blessed.

It breaks my heart to think that I have lost out on chances to share my faith with others because of drinking. It stinks that I showed a terrible witness of a Christian to those who didn’t know my Savior. But here’s what I know. Christianity is not about a bunch of perfect people who live perfect lives. It’s not about people who stop sinning when they’re saved. It’s about totally messed up, imperfect, screwed up people coming with absolutely nothing that makes them worthy, throwing up their hands and admitting that they don’t have it all together. It’s believing that Christ was a real person who was fully God and fully man, who came and lived a perfect life that we could not, and died a death to pay for the punishment of our sins, and rose again to defeat death.

The number one response people give when they hear I struggled with this is – I had no idea you dealt with this! It’s easy to hide sin, especially sin you’re ashamed of. I am not ashamed of my sin anymore. I’ve been excited to share because I know what it’s like to be ashamed of sin. I know how it feels to walk into church with downcast eyes. I know how it feels to think you’re the only one who struggles with something. Trust me when I say, you are not the only one who struggles. But I can now more fully say I understand forgiveness. I can more fully express that God is waiting with open arms to take us back. Even after we’ve fallen for the second time…the fiftieth time…the thousandth time.

Now that alcohol is not in my life, there’s room for God to be the most important thing. I now love to be near God, I have such a desire for him and his word. Because I’m not hungover, I can listen to sermons nearly every day and have clarity as I listen. Do you remember how I missed out on evening devotions with Bret? Well, now he’s listening to most of those sermons with me. Our faith is the number one thing we talk about now.

I am now able to be more alert, all the time, for opportunities to serve others. I am aware of the spirit speaking to me – now that he’s not muted by alcohol.

So while I had a terrible witness for 9 years because of drinking, because Christ paid for those sins I am now worthy to stand before a holy God.

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 says, “As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”

The God that made a way to forgive my sin is the same God that gave me the strength to finally give up a sin I’ve struggled with for over 9 years. He is more than able to give you the strength to finally give up the sin you’ve been struggling with.”

Thank you Daryl for taking this photo!

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Originally posted 1/10/16

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Day 3458 – Guest Post: Bret’s Two Year Journey To Attempting A Guinness World Record…Twice – repost

Four years ago today, Bret made his second attempt at a world record. I wanted to reshare his story getting there today.

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A few years back, I decided to stop working out in gyms, and wanted to prove to myself that I could get a good workout wherever I was, with any or no equipment. I think that was the start of this crazy journey.

No, I suppose the start was when I was a kid. My dad always encouraged me to challenge myself. He was my main coach when I was competing in running, starting in the 3rd grade. He spent countless hours riding in a car behind me, as I ran along a canal near our house. Sometimes, we would drive 45 minutes just to run in a dry riverbed with sand. Other times, we would drive two hours to go to mountains in California, so that I could run uphill, and at a higher elevation which makes it harder to breathe. I will never forget a time driving back to our house after I had just run a race, and he pulled over at the canal where I usually ran.

“Dad, why’d we stop here?” I asked.

Nonchalantly he replied, “Are you ready to train?”

I didn’t know what to say. “But I just finished a race.”

He responded with something I hope I never forget. “Everyone you ran against is resting right now. If you want to be better than them, you have to train differently than them.”

I don’t think he was being too hard. He was preparing me for competing, and for life I suppose. He would sometimes tell me that he believed I could break the world record for the mile or two mile run. When my interests took me to other sports, I always wondered if it broke his heart, but he never pressured me. He would just tell me, “You know, the winner of the Decathlon is called the Greatest Athlete in the World, and I believe you could do it, but I won’t pressure you. It has to be something you want.”

Those times in my childhood had a big impact on me. I haven’t regretted going into other sports, which have made me more well rounded, but I always wondered how well I could have done.

Fast-forward to deciding to workout on my own. I lifted whatever I could. On trail runs, this turned into logs and rocks. I realized how great of a workout carrying things is, and started doing it more and more. Then, during a run with Jen one time, she told me she was feeling pretty tired. I joked that I would carry her the mile back to our apartment. So, barefoot and on the sidewalk, I began carrying her. The route was uphill a bit, and it was the first time I had really carried someone for a distance. I think I had to put her down 3 times. I’m also pretty sure we stopped the watch during the times we were resting. I carried her back to the apartment in about 16 – 17 minutes. No my feet or heels didn’t hurt, but my calves were definitely sore the next day. I could barely walk. Still, I knew I had just had one of the hardest workouts of my life, and I was really happy with accomplishing it. I had to find out if other people did it.

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Well, not only did I find out there were a few other people stupid enough to do it, but there was actually a record for doing it for a mile, with Guinness World Records. The record at that time was 15:11, by a man named Ashrita Furman, who is also the person who holds the most GWR records. I think it’s close to 200. I was intrigued. I believed that if I practiced enough, I could probably knock off a couple minutes, and it would be on a flat surface. I also noted that the person carried had to be at least the same weight as the person carrying, and that the person being carried could not be put down. I started carrying things more often, and started carrying heavier rocks and logs. I knew I wanted to attempt it, but had no idea when or if I actually would. Time went by, and I read that someone else had beaten the record, with a time around 14:46.

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About 6 months later, one of my Phys Ed teachers from Towson University passed away. His name was Jim Harrison. He reminded me so much of my dad. For one, they dressed similarly. Two, they had similar attitudes about exercise. Mr. Harrison had many achievements in track, but I remember him telling me that at one time, he decided he wanted to run two miles every day. At some point, he got pneumonia, and so instead of running outside, he marked off a distance in his basement and ran two miles. I know, crazy right? But awesome too! He also had a similar attitude toward other people, as my dad. He would encourage people to always challenge themselves. I remember him telling me one time, “If you always have a goal in life, you’ll never be bored.”

A friend of ours told Jen about him passing away. At the time, I was out in her parent’s yard, carrying a punching bag up and down a hill. When Jen came to tell me, I figured I would try to do the attempt in his memory. So, I started training with the punching bag a little more seriously. I talked about my idea with another Phys Ed teacher at Towson. She had tears in her eyes when I told her.

But I was in for a surprise. The record had been beaten again! This time by some guy on a running team in Belgium, with a time of 11:29.

“What!?” I thought. “No way. That’s not possible. He had to have cheated.” But by that time I was already down in the 13 and 14 minute range. So, I figured I would keep training. Maybe, just maybe I could get down that low.

I started trying to carry Jen more, and began carrying her two youngest brothers every once in a while. I was so blessed when I was able to start carrying her brothers’ friend, Daniel. I would get back cramps every so often from carrying the bag, but that first time I carried him for probably a little more than a mile, gave me some serious back cramps. I remember lying on the deck at Jen’s parents’ house, massaging my back on the edge of a board that was a little warped. Daniel was so willing to help and I am so blessed to have a friend like him.

Let me tell you people, getting carried sucks. Jen can attest to that. There have been times where she would get bruises. One time, a day after I carried her, she said her chest hurt a little when she breathed. I felt so bad. I felt like I abused my wife. For what? How selfish. So, I had to start carrying her in short increments. Some days I would carry her, some days I would carry Daniel, and the days in between I would carry the punching bag. But for about 3 months I would carry Daniel at least once a week. He was the perfect training partner. One of the hardest parts of training is to find a partner that is just barely greater in weight, has a schedule where they can workout with you, and is dumb enough, I mean selfless enough to help by being carried.

Eventually I got my time down to 13 minutes. Then 12 minutes. Then 11:30. Then 10:45. I couldn’t believe it. I contacted GWR and read through pages and pages of rules and guidelines for breaking a record and submitting the evidence. I set a date and invited the teacher I had told. Another hard part of this whole process was finding a venue, and witnesses and timekeepers. Finally, everything was set, and I did my attempt at a high school track. I ran a 10:29. I had done it. Jen and I were ready to go back to our normal lives. Well, we still had a normal life. It wasn’t like that was the only thing I did. I also had about 4 part time jobs at the time, and was in school. I even had to go work on a farm later that day that I broke the record. So, I always feel conflicted when people tell me they are too busy to workout.

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A couple weeks later, one of my witnesses, who is a track coach, sent me an email. “Hey Bret. I’ve been thinking that maybe the track at Hereford is a metric track, and therefore 4 times around is only 1600 meters, and not an exact mile.

My eyes got big. “What the heck is he talking about? 4 times around a track isn’t a mile? You couldn’t tell me that before?” My fingers were flying as I went to Google and searched for exactly how many meters are in a mile. My heart sank as I read 1609.344 meters. I had ran 9.344 meters too short. About 10 steps. I couldn’t believe it.

At first I was angry with myself for forgetting that. As a kid, I knew there were different tracks. Then I began to get angry with God. “Why is this happening? What was the point? Was it all a waste?” I felt like I failed everyone who came to watch. I felt like I failed the professor I had dedicated the attempt to. I felt like I failed my parents. Yet I knew that my professor would probably tell me to get back up and try again.

I told my dad I was thinking about trying it again, but maybe this time I would dedicate it to God. He is the one who gave me these desires. He is the one who gave me a dad that trained me the way he did. He is the one who gave me the health to run. Yet I had completely forgot to involve him in the process the first time. This time it would be different. I began thinking that maybe this time I could even do the attempt in California, so that my family could watch. I began training again.

After only a month out of practice, my time was back up in the 12-13 minute range. Now I needed to find a new training partner. I really didn’t want to ask Daniel to help again. He had helped so much before, and I felt like I let him down too. In another post I talked about wanting to have other men in my life that I could get closer to. One way God answered this prayer was through Jen’s youngest brother Joseph. I began carrying him mostly. I would carry her other brothers, family friends, Jen, but the person I mainly carried was Joseph. God blessed me so much with this brother in law that was so willing to help.

For about 7 months I carried him. Eventually I was carrying him once or twice a week. During a time that Jen and I were house-sitting for some friends, I took the punching bag with me, stepped out the distance around the perimeter of their basement, and ran around 32 times, if I remember correctly. How humorous I thought. Or stupid. Or dedicated. I am so thankful for the influence of my professor, and how my dad trained me as I was growing up.

Joseph and I continued training. At 5 in the morning, still dark, we would stumble out of bed and drive bleary eyed to the track. He would shine his phone onto the track as we did a warm up lap. Then I would stretch for about a minute, or however long it took him to take off his outer layers and strap on 4 wrist weights, each weighing 5 pounds. Then we would start. We ran in the dark. In the rain. In the fog. In the wind. I think the coldest weather we ran in was 13 degrees, 9 degrees with the wind chill. I had to do it in my biking shorts and a t-shirt. Why? I had to know I could do it. I knew California wouldn’t be that cold, so if I could run at 5:30am, in the dark, in 9 degrees, with 1 minute of stretching, I could run in California in 30 degrees, at 9:00am, in the light, with a few minutes of stretching instead. When you read that, you may think I’m crazy. But really think about Joseph. What in the world would possess someone to do that? I can only see it as evidence of God’s grace in my life. I am so thankful for my brother in law. I have tried to return that love and selflessness by taking him longboarding, or discussing and praying for things he is dealing with. Or just get him a sub at Subway.

That year of training was a real journey for me. I was constantly sick. I had a heel injury from something separate, knee pains, ankle pains, and constant tightness or cramps in my back. One day, when there was snow outside, I carried the bag on the treadmill. Afterwards, my back started to cramp. I tried to stretch then lay down to try to relax it. Bad idea. I couldn’t get up. It got worse. It eventually got to where if I breathed too fast, it would spasm. Jen had to roll me from my side, onto my back, so I could be a little more comfortable.

Another time, I started suffering from burnout. I was just physically and emotionally exhausted. One reason this has been so difficult is that there is no manual or advice on how to train for something like this. If you want to know how to train for a marathon, you can look online. Want to know how to train for a 5k, look online. Want to know a weightlifting routine, look online. But carrying someone heavier than you, for a mile, you’re on your own. It has been trial and error. How heavy? How often? How far? How much rest? I had found out what my limits were. I had to take a few weeks off. But I couldn’t take too much off. I had planned that I would do the attempt in California, over Christmas break. But now I knew how I had trained the previous year, and how much I had trained to get burned out. I had to do it so that I could hit the peak of what I could handle, right around the attempt.

The most important time of this whole process came one day when I was mad that I couldn’t carry Joseph that day. I was complaining about the situation, and if I should do the attempt or not, and why it was so hard to hear what God was telling me, and really just whining. Jen said in a gentle but straight-forward tone, “I don’t think it matters if you do it or not, though I think you should do it. But I think that what really matters is your heart, and how you do it. And your heart isn’t right.”

She was correct. I just sat there, assessing my heart. I told her she was right. I really gave it back to God that night. That was a breakthrough for me, as was the next morning. As my time had dropped, and got into the 11 and 10 minute range, I had always wondered if 10 minutes was possible. I knew it had to be. That next morning, I finally broke 10 minutes. I had trained for about 21 months and had finally broken a major goal. I knew I had broken the world record, but I wanted to know if it was humanly possible for me to break 10 minutes. I didn’t even fall down from exhaustion as I usually do. I just stood there after I set Joseph down. Fists clenched, yelling at the top of my lungs, in the dark, at 5:45 in the morning. It was awesome. After that, I consistently broke 10 minutes, even getting down to 9:42. I was finally really confident.

The next few months leading up to my second attempt were still a process of giving everything about the record to God, then taking it back, but it was better than it had been before. I still continuously struggled with not letting the record become an idol. I still also had to continuously check that I was not letting it take precedence over my relationship with Jen. But Jen knew I was trying, and she was so gracious and selfless during that time.

One silver lining to the cloud of not being successful the first time was that I was able to do my 2nd attempt in California with my family. But it gets better. About 6 months before, after not being able to decide who I would be able to carry, I decided maybe I could carry my dad. I talked to him about it, and found that he was only about 10 pounds heavier than I am. He said he would start training. Now if you think my training was ridiculous, just imagine, here is a 67 year old man, trying to train for a world record, to be carried, and he couldn’t even train with me. So, I shamelessly recruited my brother to carry my dad around the house. They would do this for longer and longer increments, so that my dad could get used to it. To train in less than optimal ways, so that he could be ready for however it would be with my shoulders digging into him, he would hang on the side of the bed of his truck, or on a branch, adjusting, moving, and increasing the length of time he would hold. God loves working in less than ideal circumstances. How much more is the praise, than if He gets us through situations that are seamless, perfect, and don’t even require us to ask for His help.

I am also blessed that one of my sisters really helped with the preparations, since I was here in Maryland. She contacted a university there in California to get permission to use the track, and contacted witnesses and timekeepers that I could use. She would write out lists of things she needed to do, and even remind me of things I had previously told her, that I had forgot.

Because of the time that I had off during Christmas break, we realized that I would only have enough time to practice with my dad, one time. Then I would need a few days to recover, before the actual attempt. If for some reason the attempt did not work or the weather was bad enough, we had enough time for a back up date, a few days later so that I could rest again. That was it. Additionally, it meant that I would have to carry my dad for that first and only practice, immediately after getting off the plane from flying all day. Talk about not ideal.

Christmas break came, and Jen and I flew in to California. That was a somewhat restless day. Here I was, only a few days from my 2nd world record attempt, and I could feel my fatigue, jet lag, nervousness, lack of sleep (I think it was about 4 hours that night). To top it all off, I still had to do my one practice with my dad.

After my parents picked us up from the airport, we drove 10 minutes to a local high school to do our practice. We got to the track with just a little daylight left, measured out the mile, stretched a little, then he jumped up on my back and we got started. It didn’t go that well.

My dad just wasn’t positioned correctly. He kept sliding down my back, somewhat pulling my torso backwards. He felt heavy. I felt tired. It was on a different track. He was different than the training partner that I had been using for 7 months. That was one of the most tiring carries I have done, but we ended up running a 10:45. Faster than the record, but over a minute slower than my best time with Joseph.

After we caught our breath, and slowly walked to the car, we discussed what was wrong. He had not placed one of his hands correctly on my back. I was so tired while running, that I didn’t want to stop to correct him. I know it sounds weird, but it can be sometimes almost too much energy to even just say a word. And I just wanted it done. When I would carry Jen, she would sometimes just smack her lips together, to make a kissing sound, to say she loved me. I would be so tired that I would just say, “Shhh.” I know that sounds mean, but it was like thinking about returning that act, or even saying, “love,” even just registering what she said and thinking about it, would seem like it would take way too much energy.

So after that run, my dad and I practiced the method I was used to. It felt so much better for both of us. He was shocked at how much more comfortable it felt. We were both so relieved. We set back on the road to go to their house, knowing we didn’t have another chance to practice, without allowing me adequate time to recover, but still very optimistic that we could do it.

When the day came, everything leading up to it went smoothly. I had plenty of sleep. We had all the equipment, and even though some witnesses did not show up, enough did so that we met the requirement by GWR. I was also able to have more than adequate video coverage. I think there were 5 different cameras set up. My sister helped manage the whole process, so that my dad and I could just prepare. The campus security even used their golf cart to go around the track with me, so that we could have smooth video. Talk about finding favor in other peoples’ eyes.

When the time came, my dad and I jumped on the scales. He was only 2 pounds heavier than I. Awesome. Not too close, but not too much heavier that I would be carrying a lot extra. After a practice start for my timekeepers, and a short prayer with my dad, sister and Jen, he jumped up on my back and we stepped up to the line.

The horn went off and I started running. I quickly made some small adjustments to how my dad was positioned, using just enough breath and energy to tell him, “Move your hand down. There. Hold tighter. A little looser.” He was set. That first lap flew by. But just before the end of it, I shuffled my dad a little and felt a muscle quickly tighten in my back. “Oh crap!” I try to lean just a little to stretch it. “Nope. Won’t work. You have got to be kidding. Maybe it will go away. Sometimes they do.” That lap, I had felt like I was going slow, but I ran it in 2:08. Way too fast. About 15 seconds faster than I usually would. I had to slow down.

I did slow down, but half way through the 2nd lap, I knew I was feeling very tired. That was always the first hard mental point, because I would know that I wasn’t even half way through, and it wasn’t going to get any better. But I expected those thoughts. I had prepared for them. I had practiced internally encouraging myself. I asked God to make me as strong as I needed to be. I told Him that I was doing what I loved to do. I was moving. What could he do through me? What could the human body do? What could I do? I told myself it was normal to feel tired at this point. But I also knew that I was a little more tired because of running faster on that first lap. Couple that with knowing that this was really only the first time my dad and I had got to run the way that we felt comfortable, and that the cramp in my back was getting worse, and the internal battle begun. It was just as hard as the physical battle.

The third lap is always a blur. “I’m tired. Just one more lap after this. Every second I get closer. Every step I get closer. Need to speed up. Not too fast. I can do this. Man I’m tired. What the heck am I doing? Man I’m an idiot. Am I just a glutton for punishment? What is wrong with me? This is awesome. I could do something no one has ever done. Keep going. Keep going.”

The fourth lap began and my legs were feeling heavy. It was hard to breath. Yes I only had 1 lap to go, but it was a whole third of the three laps I had already done? I am always thinking while I am exercising. Not just about how tired I am or how my form is, but doing math to see how much longer I have to go.

“Coming up on 1/8 of the way through the last lap. That is 25 out of 32.” As soon as I figure that out, I am coming up on ¼ of the way through the last lap. “OK, that’s 13/16.” I picture in my mind how far I am around the track, from an above view. “How many seconds did that last ¼ of a lap take? I started the lap at 7:30, and now it is 8:15. That’s 45 seconds! Dang it. Should have been 37 seconds. Need to speed up. So tired. I can make it without putting him down, but I probably won’t beat 10 minutes. Ok then Bret, you can still beat your time from the first attempt.”

Half way through the last lap, my time was 9:00. It should have been 8:45. I had to do the next half just as fast, to match my previous attempt, but I was so tired that I had been slowing down. Now I needed to maintain. “Here we go Bret. Every run you’ve ever done. Every time your dad took you to practice. Every work out you’ve done. Did you expect it to be easy? Keep moving.” Step step step. Back aching, I shuffle my dad a little, and almost stumble. “Woah. Can’t do that. Have to deal with it. Just under half a lap. Legs aren’t working properly. So stiff! Will your legs to move Bret. Move. Move! Keep going. Keep going. You can rest for the rest of your life. Stop whining. Man up.”

Coming up on the last quarter of the last lap. My time was around 9:40. I had sped up by about 5 seconds. “Ok Bret. Keep going. Speed up more. There you go! Just a little. Legs aren’t moving right, but keep going. Back is numb from the pain. Rest later. You can make it to the finish. Hold that pace. Hold. Breathe. Keep going.”

The people cheering were a muffled sound. “Was that my sister?” “That was my nieces voice.”

“C’mon Uncle B.”

Then I heard my dad. “All the way to the second line Bret.”

I pushed through and crossed the finish. I set my dad down as gently as I could, with the little energy I had, legs still not moving how I want them to.

Someone yelled, “10:21:71.”

I had done it. I had even beat the time from my previous attempt. Not 10 minutes, but I was OK with that. My dad and I both just laid there. Breathing. Done. I felt someone grab my hand. “Is that dad’s hand? Maybe. Man I’m tired.”

Eventually we got up to weigh ourselves again. I had lost half a pound. My dad got on the scale and he had supposedly gained half a pound. Someone joked that he must have been carrying a doughnut up on my shoulders. I agreed.

After my sister helped me through thanking everyone and talking a little about the experience, we cleaned up and went home. I enjoyed eating foods I had been abstaining from for months. I enjoyed the rest of the time during our vacation with my family. Not a worry in the world. It was done. Jen and I were so happy. I was so happy to have done it with my dad. I was happy to have broken the record. We were ready to get back to our normal lives. Whether it was made official or not, we were done.

We are waiting on some paperwork from the university, before we send everything to GWR. At this point, I am content not even sending anything. I know I have done it. But I have to. So many people helped me along the way. Whether it is ever made official or not, I know I have done it. It has been an amazing experience. One of growth, struggle, doubt, fear, anger, weariness, and joy. One of so many people showing love for me in different ways.

What about you? You don’t have to do something extraordinary. Just do something with what God gave you.

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originally posted 2/7/15

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Day 3457 – The Last Drink I Ever Had – Or – Sharing Our Mistakes Publicly – repost

On September 29, 2014, I had my last drink, ever. I’m going to share my testimony at church about my journey through alcoholism, not taking sin seriously and what God changed in me at a later time. I’m super excited to share the full story, but I’m sharing it there first….I’ll (hopefully) get a video and I can paste the full text in a blog post. Since I’ve been working on this the last few months and fine tuning yesterday, not drinking has been on my mind.

I’m listening to How To Win Friends And Influence People In The Digital Age and it got me thinking about social media and the things we share online. Us humans are full of imperfections, mistakes, failures and just all around screw ups. I was thinking, what if we all openly shared our mistakes? What if, instead of making ourselves sound good and that we have it all together, we shared our mistakes? What if, instead of hoping no one finds out our secrets, what if we shared them?

I’m finding through being open about my drinking problem, that it is so much more freeing to discuss it in the light. The power it once held over me (What’s wrong with you Jen? How can you deal with this?) now is one I’m happy to talk about (Wait until you hear what God did in my life!)

I challenge you today, bring your sin out into the light. It’s a lot easier to deal with it there than hiding in the dark corner.

Here’s the bottle that spurred today’s post….funny enough, it was sitting outside the library….this is the last beer I had….not the same bottle of course…. 😉

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Originally posted 11/13/15

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Day 3456 – Why Are You Putting Off Your Dreams? – repost

I’m a big pusher. I love this about myself. I love to push people to be better, to follow their dreams and to do things that make them happy. Once I figure out how to make that quality in myself into a source of income that makes sense for my lifestyle, I will be a very happy camper.

But just as a photographer really sucks at taking photos of themselves, their family and friends….AND printing them out. I suck at pushing myself. It’s easier for me to just give advice to other people and not give it to myself.

I have had a dream to publish a book for years. I honestly have no idea how long. At least 10 years. I am pretty sure as a kid/young adult, I had dreams of writing a book. I watched countless videos, went to seminars, heard many people say how easy it is to publish a book today. I knew it was possible and it did sound pretty easy.

But here’s the thing, I still dragged my feet. It took a lot of arm twisting for me to hire a proof reader/editor. I did and I know my book is so much stronger because of the changes and general clean up that my editor did. She even made a few changes that made my formatting for Amazon a ton easier.

I also delayed a while after the manuscript was done. To be fair, I was stuck on the title. It was so hard to say what the book was about. I had so many competing voices and advice. Do this, do that, you HAVE to do this, DON’T do that! One day, I finally turned everything off and just talked to God. I said tell me what you want YOUR book to be called. Because really, the book is what God has to say about work….not me. It was a big step for me, I figured out the title and everything clicked after that.

I met some resistance in getting things set up…buying the ISBN, designing my cover, uploading to Amazon. I realize now, it was mostly a “I’ve never done this before and I’m putting things off” type thing.

But now that I’m done, I can’t get over how easy it was. Not only to put publish the ebook but also the paperback (I’m still waiting for approval from Amazon, keep checking the link if you want to buy a physical copy). I had a little trouble with the cover design….but Amazon has a great program to catch any mistakes on the book.

I will be a major pusher to others who want to write a book now. I will also push affiliate marketing as well. Through people clicking on the link to my book, I’ve already made affiliate sales. Basically, if someone clicks on one of my affiliate links and buys either the product I’m sharing or something completely different, I get a percentage of that sale (at no additional cost to the purchaser). I’ve made more in the last few days through my book than I have in a few months of having an affiliate account. (If you have to shop on Amazon, follow the link to my book in the footer to make sure we get credit!)

So as I marinate over the fact that I am now a published author, I am struck by the thought “why did I put this off for so long?” It seems silly now…especially since I’m a big supporter of “go do these things that make you happy. Go take that cross country trip. Quit your job and take a chance on your own business. Get rid of all your stuff and live out of an RV.”

Why are you putting off your dreams?

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originally posted 12/18/16

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
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Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
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