Day 3472 – Permission To Say No – or – JEN SINCERO LOOKED AT ME!

One thing I’ve been wanting to talk about for a little while is giving yourself permission to say no….as well as reminding you it’s ok to say no….which I will, but first, I wanted to geek out a little bit.

A few days back, we went to see Jen Sincero speak and it was a truly wonderful experience. I want to do more things like that. It was a speaking/book signing event. I did take two books to be signed, but we were like number 540 in line and we’d had a particularly long few days, so while it would have been great to have a few seconds with her and get my books signed, I decided it was just not worth losing even more sleep over.

During her talk, she had great audience interaction. Dudes, she looked RIGHT at me! Several times! So amazing.

So saying no. There are lots of reasons we say no to things.

I say no to alcohol because I’m a former alcoholic. There are times when I say no to events because of alcohol. I’d say 95% of the time, I’m totally ok with being around other drinkers, going into a liquor store, or going on a getaway where I’ll be around drinkers. But there is a small number of times when I’m just not. I have a lot more to learn about myself and my drinking past that I’m still dealing with, and I just have to say no.

I say no to watching movies with nudity because I struggle with remembering the images. One of the most important things in my life is my marriage to Bret, anything that could take away from that, I fight against it. I have no problem with others watching nudity, but I know myself and my limits, so I just have to say no.

I say no to some TV shows that raise my anxiety.

I stopped watching football, mostly for time….but also because at the end of the day, my Ravens won’t win every game….so why put myself through the stress of “will they/won’t they/WHY DID YOU DO THAT?/THAT REF IS AN IDIOT!” for a few hours?

But you know most of this since I’ve blogged about it before. What I’ve found makes saying no harder is when others don’t understand why or, and I think this is the bigger reason, they don’t struggle with what you’re saying no to. I’ve found that some will never understand you. Just like I cannot understand how someone can have a glass of wine at dinner, not finish it, and not want to finish the bottle…Even being sober for over four years, I still can’t comprehend this.

When we have to spend twenty minutes finding a movie to watch that doesn’t have nudity, it can be hard to explain my reasons to those who don’t have a problem with it.

When I have to say no to seeing people or canceling a social thing because Bret needs the car for an appointment, or basically any of the changes we have to make for running a business, it can be hard to express why it takes priority.

But here’s the truth, some people will never understand where you’re coming from. No matter how many times you explain it, or try a different approach, or even hand puppets with pie charts, they just won’t get it.

So I want to remind you it’s OK to say no. I’m giving you permission to say NO. I’m also giving you (and myself) permission to let go of the worry and wish that they would understand you.

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Day 3099 – My Word Of The Year – No

I’ve known about the “word of the year” for a while now, but never selected one for myself. I thought about Good, based on Jocko Williams Good. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized my word needed to be No. Bret and I have some seriously big goals, and unless I can ruthlessly say no to the good, ok, and bad things, I won’t have room to say yes (or oh heck yea a la Jenna Marbles style) to things. Having this as my word forces me to question each decision I’m faced with and look at it honestly, a lot like how minimalism forces you to really think about why you own things.

I realized this morning that I also have to say no to myself. I’ve been sleeping in a little later than normal. I always think I’ll make the transition from pacific time to eastern time just fine, but those 3 hours seem to be a bigger deal than I think. Bret’s been getting up about 4/4:30 instead of the 5/5:30 we’ve been shooting for. This morning, his alarm went off at 4 but he mentioned sleeping until 5. At 4:30, our phones went off with a notification that schools were opening 2 hours late. Unfortunately, my brain starting running. I did fall back asleep and snoozed until about 6. During the snoozes, I thought, you know, I need to say no to myself when I want to sleep in. I’ve felt behind every day this week because of sleeping in. It’s crazy how just an hour or two can make a big difference in your day.

We’ll see if it sticks for the year, but it has definitely taught me a lot already.

Do you have a word for the year?

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel