Day 2970 – What Happened When Bret Brought Home Loose Cannon (The Last Beer I Drank)

Disclaimer, don’t follow my example as a hard and fast rule for sobriety. I believe everyone has a different journey to take, with different strengths and weaknesses. Just because I can handle something, doesn’t mean you can. Just because you can handle something, doesn’t mean I can. It’s not because I’m stronger and someone else is weaker, we are just different. I know myself, and I know what I can handle.

I’m very quickly approaching my third anniversary of sobriety. I can’t believe it has been almost three years since I drank. In a lot of ways, it feels like I’ve been sober forever. In other ways, especially since I’m working through my memoir, it feels so recent. My very last alcoholic beverage was Loose Cannon. The alcohol content is 7.5% and the last night I drank 5 of them, in like 3 hours. Oy. Last night, Bret had a friend over and he picked up a six pack of Loose Cannon. I sat there, looking at this six pack of beer, remembering it as my last beer, and was just overcome with thankfulness. I could look at this substance that has brought joy to others, others who can control their drinking, others who enjoy responsibly, and not feel resentment or shame or regret. What brings me even more joy is that I have grown so much that Bret can enjoy alcohol. He definitely drinks less than he did before my sobriety, but I don’t want him to have to give something up that he doesn’t struggle with. Another thing I think when I see Loose Cannon, is, “you sir (of course this beer is male), have no power over me.”

Ha ha, and I also thought, “wow, you photograph really well!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Day 2850 – Beating Yourself Up – or – Getting Over Former Mistakes

A few days back, one of our friends shared a video about drunk driving. I watched with tears streaming. It was hard to relive what could have been when I was driving drunk 10 and a half years ago. I am so thankful that I was pulled over and didn’t hurt myself or anyone else. Knowing myself, hurting or killing someone would have completely broken me. It’s so tempting to fall into beating myself up for my mistakes. It’s so easy to think I ruined everything that day.

Thankfully, that isn’t my story.

To help me get over my former mistakes, I am reminding myself of what my story is, not what it could have been.

– I am sober.

– I have clarity of memories, since I’m not drinking during the fun times anymore.

– I have no hidden secrets, now that my former hidden alcoholism is out in the open.

– I have (hopefully) helped others through my honesty.

The journey to sobriety isn’t easy, especially when your mistakes try to drag you down, but I am so so so thankful that sobriety is my story today.

How do you stop beating yourself up? Let me know in the comments below when I, or other readers, have the hard days.

For fun, here’s a photo of lattes in Guinness glasses!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Day 2789 – Lost Moments Because Of Drinking

I’ve been reflecting a lot on my previous drinking problem, my sobriety, and my lost moments over the years. It has been almost 2 and a half years since alcohol last touched my lips. It has been nearly 10 and a half years since my hands were cuffed for drinking while intoxicated. I’m also approaching my 35th birthday. Lots of reason for some introspection. One aspect I haven’t touched on as much is the lost moments because of drinking.

When we stopped in San Antonio, I definitely got drunk. I don’t remember much from the last few hours at the bar, and driving to the next stop. I remember asking Bret for nachos, and he got them. At the time, I had a broken tooth and used wax as a temporary “cap.” I was so far gone, I don’t remember swallowing the wax. I don’t remember the sunset from the rooftop bar. I don’t remember the whole game when we played giant Jenga.

When we visited a friend in California, I don’t remember half of the evening because I had TWO glasses of beer as big as my head.

When attending a party with some of my cousins and long time friends, I don’t remember all of the hanging out, or leaving my purse in my own car, thus prompting a freak out the next day.

On many of our getaways, I don’t remember all of the time in the hotel because of the amount I drank.

I don’t remember portions of my best friend’s rehearsal dinner because I had SO much wine. There’s even a picture of me getting a glass of wine from the server with the “are you sure about this” face. (See below)

I don’t remember full trips to the state fair because of how much I drank beforehand and during.

I don’t remember full conversations where I’m actually trying to share the gospel with someone else….again, because I was drunk. These are the moments I’m most embarrassed of.

There are family events I don’t remember because I was drunk.

There are two family vacations I have very little memory of because I drank the entire time.

I think back to these things and while embarrassment is a big thing I feel, I also feel untold gratitude that God would protect me through it all. That He still loved me, despite my screw ups. I also feel untold thankfulness that He gave me the strength to finally quit drinking for good. It has taught me, over and over, that no one is too far from God’s help. He is able to change anyone.

I don’t know your struggle. I don’t know what you have failed at over and over again. But I can say that God can work in you and He can change you.

3917946468_a3b6095a47_o

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel