Day 2970 – What Happened When Bret Brought Home Loose Cannon (The Last Beer I Drank)

Disclaimer, don’t follow my example as a hard and fast rule for sobriety. I believe everyone has a different journey to take, with different strengths and weaknesses. Just because I can handle something, doesn’t mean you can. Just because you can handle something, doesn’t mean I can. It’s not because I’m stronger and someone else is weaker, we are just different. I know myself, and I know what I can handle.

I’m very quickly approaching my third anniversary of sobriety. I can’t believe it has been almost three years since I drank. In a lot of ways, it feels like I’ve been sober forever. In other ways, especially since I’m working through my memoir, it feels so recent. My very last alcoholic beverage was Loose Cannon. The alcohol content is 7.5% and the last night I drank 5 of them, in like 3 hours. Oy. Last night, Bret had a friend over and he picked up a six pack of Loose Cannon. I sat there, looking at this six pack of beer, remembering it as my last beer, and was just overcome with thankfulness. I could look at this substance that has brought joy to others, others who can control their drinking, others who enjoy responsibly, and not feel resentment or shame or regret. What brings me even more joy is that I have grown so much that Bret can enjoy alcohol. He definitely drinks less than he did before my sobriety, but I don’t want him to have to give something up that he doesn’t struggle with. Another thing I think when I see Loose Cannon, is, “you sir (of course this beer is male), have no power over me.”

Ha ha, and I also thought, “wow, you photograph really well!”

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