Category Archives: Life

Day 1910 – The Time I Was Kidnapped And Wrote My Own Ransom Note

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Yesterday I was kidnapped and had to write my own ransom note.

Here are the contents of the note which was left on Bret’s truck for him to find me:

Dear Sir,

Do not be alarmed, but we have stolen your wife. We found out that you left her without a vehicle in her state of need, when she needed to go out with friends to the bar.

Since we are loving and not heartless, we have remedied the situation.

If you ever want to see your wife again, follow the enclosed directions and join us in merriment.

Regards,

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Day 1908 – Adventures Cleaning A House Of Eight

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Today I spent most of the day catching up on some cleaning in the house. I tell you this not to toot my own horn, but because some funny stuff happened and I wanted to share.

First, the whole experience was a little like Forrest Gump….i.e. When I finished one room, I figured, well, I went this far, might as well go to the next room. This continued for quite a while. 🙂

Second, I wore headphones to listen to music while I worked. I was vacuuming a room while home alone. So obviously, I was rocking out and dancing while I worked. This continued for about 2 minutes until I looked up towards the adjacent room and saw my dad. I jumped about a foot off the floor and did a little scream.

Third, while stooping down to pick up trash, the vacuum attacked me. I swear, he hit me right in the head. Dang vacuum.

Oh, and this happened….there are far too many fun things in this house.

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