Category Archives: Marriage

Day 1098 – Guest Post – Advice for Grooms – Jimmy Cannon Senior Pastor of Sovereign Grace Church in Joppa, Maryland

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Today’s post comes from the Senior Pastor of Sovereign Grace Church in Joppa, Maryland. He is not only the Senior Pastor of the church, but he is the pastor who married us and a friend. He has a lot of great advice about marriage!!

This first picture is one of my favorites from the wedding with Jimmy…and the second is a nice one. 🙂 Both taken by Craig Copelin of Nilepoc Media.

Here’s Jimmy!!!

When you face a struggle or disagreement in your marriage, how do you handle it?
-Communication! I find that if we don’t talk through things, we begin to harbor bitterness and the longer we let things go, the worse it gets. Also, being sure to listen and hear the other person out goes a long way. I Peter 3:8 says, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” My wife and I try to remind one another that we are a team. We are for one another and working toward the same goal. Also, this takes humility to recognize if we’ve failed and need to ask for forgiveness. And when we ask for forgiveness, we try to be as specific as possible. This not only assures the other person that you see clearly how you’ve sinned against them, but also it makes it easier for you to change and for them to freely forgive you.

What are some of the ways you try to bless your wife?
-In the book “Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by CJ Mahaney (a must read for Christian husbands) one of the chapters talks about being a “student” of your wife. I’ve found this helpful over the years. In any relationship, the more you know and understand someone and have that “sympathy” that was mentioned from I Peter 3:8, you will truly know how to love them in a richer, deeper way. For example, my wife isn’t a “flowers and chocolates” kind of girl. Don’t get me wrong, she wouldn’t turn them away, but she would much prefer me to walk in the door with a drink from Starbucks and a magazine with floor plans of homes from cover to cover. Taking an interest in what makes her “tick” means a lot to her. Another thing I’ve tried to do over the years is to ask her not only how is she doing, but how am I doing in her eyes. Are there areas that I can grow or that she has concerns about. This has really kept the communication line open and left no room for the enemy to bring any disunity into our marriage.

What advice would you give a couple going through a struggle during the beginning of their marriage?
-First of all, I would encourage any young couple to never be “content” with where their relationship is at. And this would include if they have struggles in the marriage or if they are experiencing hardship, not to “throw in the towel” or lose heart. A marriage takes work. Living up close to another sinner takes constant sacrifice and the ability to say, “I’m not going to make today about myself. I’m going to choose to serve and lay down my life not only for my Savior, but for the one who is most important to me on this earth.” This is a difficult task, but by God’s amazing power and His promised Holy Spirit, we can learn to love others more than ourselves.

Also, I would encourage young couples to seek help. Ask for input from parents, respected leaders in their church, and especially their pastors if need be. So many have gone before on this path of marriage and have much wisdom and insight that will not only encourage, but also truly help them to grow.

And Lastly
-My final remarks are from Hebrews 10:24-25. This scripture helps to point us in the right direction, especially as husbands. “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” This passage gives such clear instruction. So basically, we must tell our spouse where we see God at work and what we appreciate about them, meet together (date night), and this will stir her up to love more and good works are the fruit! Woo hoo! This is only possible through God’s grace and thankfully, because of Christ, we have all the power we need to do what He’s called us to. I thank Him for the gift of marriage and for giving me a wife who is willing to work through anything in order to keep our little “team” in unity and love. God is faithful.

Day 1097 – Jennilyn’s Musings on Three Years of Marriage

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Photo by Shawna Sherrell of Shawna Sherrell Photography.

3 years and 1 days ago, I married my best friend.

Over that time, I was surprised by the following events:
2 Coast to Coast road trips
A job loss at the WORST possible time
Finally going full-time into photography
That BRET would be my second shooter and business partner (not as well known fact, he has only been my second shooter for 2 1/2 years)
That I would want to be a public speaker and write a book
That BRET would want to be a public speaker, write books AND go into business for himself (more on that in a few months)

If you had told me on that day that in three years we would have gone through all that, I probably would have done a happy dance (Jumping up and down and all over the place) about the full-time photography…but most of the other things, especially the public speaking, I would have been like, um, wait, what?

But, here we are, 3 years later.

I could get upset about Bret’s job loss, but not even a week later, he found a listing for a job helping out with the Rebel Race. An experience that will prove invaluable as he starts to write his books (on all things working out). It allowed us to have the income we needed when we needed it.

But, isn’t that always the way with God? He doesn’t always give us what we want, but He is VERY good at giving us what we need….even if we don’t think it’s what we need. For example, Bret never would have had the idea for his book(s) and had the entrepreneur spark lit inside him if he hadn’t lost his job and gotten the opportunity to help with the race.

It’s easy to get caught up in the “oh my gosh, where are we going to get money, how are we going to survive?” mindset when there is a job loss and the money is tight or non-existent. But, we need to look past it and realize that God loves us, he will take care of us. What we need to get over is HOW he will show his love during that time.

So how do I move on? How do I trust that no matter the situation (job loss, lack of cash flow, etc) God puts us through? Honestly, it comes from experience. From God showing his overwhelming grace again and again. From experiencing a deficit in the finances so large that there is NO way we’ll come up with the money….and God surprises. I think God reaches us best by striping away everything that hinders us from trusting him and then when we’re at our complete lowest, he gives us that thing that we need.

I want to say very emphatically, this is not easy. This lifestyle includes lots of tears, lots of frustration and lots of prayer. It’s not easy because we are still sinful creatures. Christ has cleansed us from our sins and when God looks at us, he sees Christ, BUT we are still living in a fallen world. We are not in the environment we were created for. But this life is helping us to become more like Christ.

If you’ve made it this far, go you! I know Bret’s musings are a LOT shorter than mine…but this is on my heart today and I wanted to share it. Why? Because I’m walking through it RIGHT now. What could have been one of the darkest times in our marriage has become the best and brightest, all because of God’s grace and strength in our lives.

Day 1096 – Happy Four Year Anniversary to Mr & Mrs. Hicks!! (and Mr. & Mrs. Gaitan)

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Today is the FOUR year anniversary of Byshe & Becky Hicks!!

I just LOVE that I got a picture of them in front of a 7-Eleven on their 7/11 wedding day!!

Please note:
Bret’s Wednesday Musings will take place tomorrow
Today is also our anniversary, so yay! But I didn’t want to take the focus from Mr. & Mrs. Hicks!
Tomorrow you will hear musings from both Bret and I about the last 3 years of marriage.

Day 1089 – Bret’s Musings – Weddings in the Dark Edition

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I am loving having my husband’s guest posts! I don’t know why I didn’t have him do this sooner! He is such a huge part of the business and my life, how could he NOT share!?

Here’s Bret!

“This past weekend, I got to go to a wedding at our church (Sovereign Grace Church), of a couple who are new to the church. This happened the day after the bad storm that came through. You know the storm that left some people still, here on Wednesday, without power? Well, the church was no exception. But so many people came together to make the wedding happen. Generators were turned on and fans were set up around the church. Candles were also set up, and though I’m not sure if they were originally planned to be a large source of the light for the wedding, I think they worked well. They gave a really neat feel. The food was made and served by people who go to the church, many of whom the groom said he had never even met. I was blessed just to be able to see the way that so many people came together to help the bride and groom. It was also refreshing to talk to the couple about the situation, and hearing that they weren’t freaked out about it. They weren’t really concerned with the problems that occurred, and seemed more thankful than anything. It was a good reminder to me that when I spend more time looking at things that I am thankful for, things won’t seem so bad when they don’t go my way. Congratulations to our newly married friends, thanks for letting me and Jen be part of your day, and thanks for reminding us to be thankful for the many blessings we do have.”

I found an older picture of Bret that I think fits his musings PERFECTLY!

p.s. I MISS that beard! 🙂