Day 3422 – How To Be Thankful When Life Slows Your Pace – repost

Posted on November 23, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

I feel like I’m finally on the mend today, which is good because I have some work for one of my clients today! It was hard to take it easy this week. I thought this week would be one of knocking out a number of projects, making progress on things that have been sitting for a while, and just an all around catch up week. I was not expecting to get sick, and stuck in bed most of the week. But instead of getting discouraged in my lack of productivity, I decided to be thankful. Here are a handful of the things I AM thankful for this week:

– That Bret closed on his second house, which takes a little of the financial burden off me.
– That my clients are super understanding, and care about my health most of all.
– That it is a slow season on all fronts (Bret’s out of school, client projects are slower right now, etc)
– That I have jobs that allow me to take breaks when I need to.
– That I have learned over the years to listen to my body, and not push things.
– That the imperative things were accomplished.

What about you? What are you thankful for when life forces you to slow down?

Originally posted 8/12/17

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Day 3421 – How To Not Complain – or – I’m So Thankful That Bret Taught Me To Be A Devil’s Advocate – repost

Posted on November 22, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

One thing that I absolutely love and hate about Bret is that he is a devil’s advocate. When we first got married, I barely got to complain because he would always have a comeback to what I was babbling on about. “Well, you don’t know….” “Well, maybe they XYZ….” “Well, at least….”

He is the reason I’m such a big proponent of the “if nothing else” game. As I’ve grown in my devil’s advocating skills, I can even encourage Bret (ha ha, the student has become the master).

This can be a really sad and hard world to live in. There are so many opinions and sides and deep hate out there. I think something that could really help us all is more devil’s advocating.

Instead of thinking things like “I cannot believe they think XYZ,” “I would never ABC,” “All of 123’s are XYZ.” Try to think of things from the other perspective. “Well, if I had been raised in this environment, I can see how I would think/have trouble/struggle with XYZ.” “Well, if I had been in this situation, I might actually ABC.” “Well, I guess not ALL 123’s are XYZ. Maybe I can find out more about 123’s.”

I am in no way saying I have everything figured out. I cannot solve the world’s problems. I believe only God can fix what’s wrong here. But we can make things a little better by putting ourselves in others’ shoes.

It is also a very thankful way to live. When there are really rough days, I try to be super specific thankful. Being thankful for shelter, food, and health can really turn your day around.

And because I miss the little guy, here’s our rental car – Devil’s Advocate

Originally posted by 8/20/17

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Day 3420 – I Really Am Thankful For Traffic Jams – repost

Posted on November 21, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

Today, I had bible study in the morning in Joppa Maryland and then had to drive all the way over to Hunt Valley to grab lunch with my family. It was raining a little, so I wasn’t sure how timely I’d be….and I actually got stuck in a traffic jam about half way.

A little backstory….you may or may not know the full story of how Bret and I met….well, I won’t share that now (you can ask me later)….but a BIG part of the story is that on his drive from Quantico, VA (where he was for training) to Bel Air, MD (where I was), he wanted to turn around. It is a long drive. But then he looks over to the other side of 95 and there was a parking lot of traffic for about 10 minutes….and he said, ah, guess I’ll still go.

I try to remember this whenever I’m in traffic….and think….someone’s life may be changed forever because of this traffic jam….this is where I am now and I have to just deal with it.

While I was sitting there, in the traffic, I thought about it again….and I said, you know, I am content to sit in this traffic….and I realized that I truly meant it. It was so moving, it made me cry.

So, I challenge you to think about situations in your life that are like a traffic jam….they may be happening for a bigger purpose. But if not, you can grumble about me and traffic next time you hit a jam.

The following picture is about 4 months after I met Bret…who I met because of a traffic jam….and a friend who knew us both better than we knew ourselves.

Originally posted 10/2/12.

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Day 3418 – How A Movie Reminded Me About My Drinking Days And Sharing My Story

Posted on November 19, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

Yesterday, I watched Walk The Line and it touched me in a way I didn’t expect. I had started the movie the day before but had to stop because, for a number of reasons, it reminded me of things I didn’t want to think of. I turned it off and honestly had a good cry about it.

While working on reports for our business, I thought, you know, part of life is pushing past things, I’m going to finish it. I’m so glad I did.

What I didn’t expect was being reminded of my own time getting sober. Thankfully, I didn’t have a major detox time….at least, when I finally got sober, there were some harder times when I tried (and failed) in the past. We see Johnny struggling through, and during the time, his mind is filled with key points in his life that shaped him into who he is now. I realized I have gone through something similar, just in a longer time frame.

The first few months of my sobriety, it was all about not telling anyone I was sober (I’d tried and failed many times before, I wanted to make sure “this was it.”) Then, it seemed there were a lot of things going on that took my attention away from doing the work of recovering. Getting sober wasn’t just about not drinking anymore, it was also about finally dealing with things I drank to ignore.

I drank for a lot of reasons because I was happy…and sad….because I was celebrating…and commiserating. I didn’t HAVE to have a drink every day. I wasn’t itching to drink when I first woke up. But boy howdy, when I started, good luck getting me to stop.

It wasn’t until months after I got sober that I realized I definitely drank to not deal with things I should have dealt with. One of the harder parts for me has been actually having to face those things. But oh friends, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The movie also reminded me how sharing your failures, struggles, and let downs can really help someone else. That’s why I keep writing about my drinking. That’s why, even though there are days I don’t want to think about it or talk about it again, I know someone out there just might need to hear it today.