Day 3418 – How A Movie Reminded Me About My Drinking Days And Sharing My Story

Yesterday, I watched Walk The Line and it touched me in a way I didn’t expect. I had started the movie the day before but had to stop because, for a number of reasons, it reminded me of things I didn’t want to think of. I turned it off and honestly had a good cry about it.

While working on reports for our business, I thought, you know, part of life is pushing past things, I’m going to finish it. I’m so glad I did.

What I didn’t expect was being reminded of my own time getting sober. Thankfully, I didn’t have a major detox time….at least, when I finally got sober, there were some harder times when I tried (and failed) in the past. We see Johnny struggling through, and during the time, his mind is filled with key points in his life that shaped him into who he is now. I realized I have gone through something similar, just in a longer time frame.

The first few months of my sobriety, it was all about not telling anyone I was sober (I’d tried and failed many times before, I wanted to make sure “this was it.”) Then, it seemed there were a lot of things going on that took my attention away from doing the work of recovering. Getting sober wasn’t just about not drinking anymore, it was also about finally dealing with things I drank to ignore.

I drank for a lot of reasons because I was happy…and sad….because I was celebrating…and commiserating. I didn’t HAVE to have a drink every day. I wasn’t itching to drink when I first woke up. But boy howdy, when I started, good luck getting me to stop.

It wasn’t until months after I got sober that I realized I definitely drank to not deal with things I should have dealt with. One of the harder parts for me has been actually having to face those things. But oh friends, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The movie also reminded me how sharing your failures, struggles, and let downs can really help someone else. That’s why I keep writing about my drinking. That’s why, even though there are days I don’t want to think about it or talk about it again, I know someone out there just might need to hear it today.