Day 3427 – repost – “Can You Go Into Bars?” “Can You Hang Out With People Drinking?” And Other Common Questions About My Sobriety

Posted on November 28, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

I’ve shared my story about struggling with alcoholism before. It’s common knowledge that I don’t drink. I want to say at the start that everyone has a different experience with sobriety, alcoholism, etc. This is just MY experience and what it’s like for me. Don’t take this post as a “oh my friend doesn’t drink, so this will apply to them!”

I, thankfully, experience almost zero temptation and struggle with drinking. The only reason for this is God’s work in my life. This is not a will power thing. It’s all God.

Ok, let’s jump right in!

“Can you go into bars?”
Yes! I love hanging out with my friends and bars are a great place to do it. Happy hour specials can be fantastic! It’s a cheaper bill for me either way! 🙂 I will say, there are some times, especially when I went to Padonia Station/Ale House a few weeks ago, that I think about memories (ha ha, or non-memories) of my drinking experiences. I joked with one of my friends there, oh yea, I remember throwing up in that bathroom and that one. Fun fact, I was driving home from Padonia Station the night I was arrested for a DUI. So, I will say, there are SOME times that I think about these things. But it doesn’t make me sad or make me want to not go to a bar. It makes me SO thankful that God did not leave me where I was. Thankful that God had mercy on me during those times and kept me safe.

“Can you hang out with people drinking?”
Yep! If anything, I may be a bad influence to those who are drinking….I get drinks when they need them…this is especially true if I’m driving. Again, not everyone has the same experience with drinking. Some people can actually control themselves and not make a mess of things. I am not one of those people! So, I’ll just drive the ones that can! 🙂

“Are you tempted to drink?”
I would say, there might be a little temptation here and there. Bret has a box of wine in the fridge right now and I’ve had the passing thought – “I’m an adult, I can decide to drink a glass, I’d be fine.” But since I’m sober when I’m thinking this, I realized, um, no, I’d not be fine. My biggest weakness was after that first glass, I’d HAVE to have as much as possible. So, any time I feel a slight temptation, God very graciously reminds me of what I gave up.

“Will you ever drink again?”
No. I have no intention of drinking again. There is absolutely no reason for me to do so. I can celebrate with friends with a can of coke just as much as a shot or glass of wine. I can go to Ireland and tour the Guinness factory and not have a drink (one day soon, I’ll share about my first brewery tour – which was actually the brewer of the last beer I drank). It was making this decision that finally sealed my sobriety. Every time I would “quit” before, I would find an excuse to drink down the road. So, no, no more alcohol for me.

Are there any questions I didn’t answer, let me know in the comments and I’ll do another post!

And for lack of a photo that really fits, here’s a “shine” that I do drink. 🙂 (oh my, I crack myself up)

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Day 3423 – Why I’m Thankful For Long Distance Relationships – repost

Posted on November 24, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

I had originally planned to post about Junk Food Day, I mean how fun is that? But as I scrolled through On This Day on Facebook, my status from 10 years ago, was “Missing him….” That him was Bret, and he had been deployed overseas for about a month. We had only recently started officially dating. Bret was only deployed for a little over half a year, but he lived in California, and I lived in Maryland. By the time we got married two and a half years after we met, we had only spent roughly four months in the same time zone….and three of those months were when he moved to Maryland a few months before the wedding.

I forget that such a large chunk of our relationship was long distance. It was our normal – saying hello and saying goodbye at the airport, long phone calls, big phone bills, and lots of sleepless nights from talking late.

But I can point to that time as one of the biggest reasons we have the great marriage we have now. Being that far apart forced us to ONLY have communication. It caused us to be honest with each other, I mean, why not be honest with that much distance between you? During those hours and hours of conversations, we talked about everything. During those hours, we developed a deep friendship, which is one of the core pieces of our marriage.

While long distance relationships aren’t for everyone, I sure am glad that I had one. 🙂

This is a photo of Bret from his first visit to meet my family in 2007.

Originally posted 7/21/17

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Day 3413 – How A Song You’ve Heard Thousands Of Times Can Have A New Meaning

Posted on November 14, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

As I was running today, listening to Firebreather by Thrice (my running song of choice), I was struck by a new thought. Here are a few lines from the song, you can read the full lyrics here.

“Tell me, Are you free
When the fear falls on you?
Tell me, Are you free
When the fear falls on you?”

The song was written about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who spoke up about the injustices he saw in Nazi Germany. It has always resonated with me.

It has always been about someone who is killed for their belief. That belief has always been Christianity in my mind.

But this morning, as I was mid-run, it struck me that it can also be about speaking up about things that others shy away from for whatever reason. It brought me comfort to know that I rarely shy away from speaking up about things.

It gave me fresh encouragement to share that it’s OK to not drink, that you can have a full and wonderful and FUN life without alcohol.

That it’s ok to not have kids.

That it’s ok to sleep on the floor.

That it’s ok to not have furniture in the “normal” sense.

To shout from my little blog rooftop, that it’s ok if you are different from most of those around you. It’s ok if most people think you’re crazy. To remind you that there ARE others out there who think and feel like you do.

It may take time to find them, but I assure you, they are out there.

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
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Day 3398 – Why I Shared About My Alcoholism

Posted on October 30, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

When I was first asked if I would share a testimony at my previous church, I thought I would talk about some awesome things God had done in our lives up to that point. I had put together something, but it was just “eh.”

A few months prior to being asked, I had a moment of “I have to get up and write RIGHT now” where I wrote about my drinking and sobriety. At the time, I thought it as more of a “get it out of my head but never share with anyone” type of thing. Then one day in church, someone else shared something deeply personal in her testimony.

On that particular day, we were helping out in both services, during the second listen of her testimony, I pulled up what I had written about my drinking. Reading through, I thought, I have to share this. This person sharing their struggles, led me to share mine, which has led to others sharing with me.

If you had told the drunk/hungover me that I would put all of it out there, I would have laughed at you and never thought it possible. Then again, that Jennilyn would probably not believe she’d ever get sober.

So if you have something to share, share it. Even if it’s just with a friend. As Thrice would say, “Every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart.”

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Day 3381 – When Did I Know I Was An Alcoholic – repost

Posted on October 13, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

Originally posted 8/6/17

I’m working through my second draft of my memoir, and I’m happy to see it taking somewhat of a logical shape.

Yesterday, we had so much fun hanging out with some friends at a beautiful waterfront bar. Chatting with one of my friends, we talked about what was success for my first book, which was that one person’s mindset was changed.

In my current draft of the memoir, I wrote “I don’t want to write this book. Thinking back to these times doesn’t make me happy. Trying to read other memoirs about drinking is hard to do. I want to forget it all happened. I want to leave those memories in the past. Why would I ever want to go back there? Why would I want to share even more about the things I did? I suppose, if just one person is helped. If one person can move past addiction and treat it finally as a sin, it is worth it.”

I think I have my goal for this book.

So, when did I know I was an alcoholic?
Probably in the few days after my last drink. Here’s a snapshot from my journal, which is part thinking out loud, part praying, in the days after that last day.

September 29, 2014 (first day sober)
“I do enjoy it and I have had some great times, yet I’ve quit so many times. Can I really not control myself or am I trying to prove to myself that I can? Am I holding on to sin? Should I cut it loose? Do I need to cut it out completely? Truly? Forever? Is it standing in my way?”

On October 3, 2014
“Thank you also for the clear “it’s time” to quit drinking. Thank you for the strength already against temptation. Let it open doors to honest communications about how Christians aren’t perfect.”

Almost three years later and I think it’s so true – that it can open lines of communications. People are shocked when they hear about my sobriety – “but you’re a Christian!”
Thinking back to the months following this moment, I remember thinking that there is almost more stigma against people who don’t drink than people who do. Look at all the memes about drinking at the end of the day, or that say “how could I ever quit drinking, I’d be boring!” I was more embarrassed and nervous to say “no thank you” to a drink, then when I was downing bottle after bottle.

I’m so thankful for sober Jen, because she can go to places like we went yesterday, and remember every minute. I really hope we can live near the water some day.