365 days of marriage

Today I spent most of the day catching up on some cleaning in the house. I tell you this not to toot my own horn, but because some funny stuff happened and I wanted to share.

First, the whole experience was a little like Forrest Gump….i.e. When I finished one room, I figured, well, I went this far, might as well go to the next room. This continued for quite a while. 🙂

Second, I wore headphones to listen to music while I worked. I was vacuuming a room while home alone. So obviously, I was rocking out and dancing while I worked. This continued for about 2 minutes until I looked up towards the adjacent room and saw my dad. I jumped about a foot off the floor and did a little scream.

Third, while stooping down to pick up trash, the vacuum attacked me. I swear, he hit me right in the head. Dang vacuum.

Oh, and this happened….there are far too many fun things in this house.

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Christian movies, oh Christian movies. I have not been a fan in my life. To me it’s hard to watch these actors act out life situations that are real, but through dialogue that is soooooo unbelievable. It’s almost like the movies treat us like we’re children, talking in simple and easy ways. Tough time? Oh, just read your bible, just pray. So you see the main character finally break and realize, ah, yes, this will work, then life gets better. Now, there are times when this is true in life. There are times when the hard times do dissipate like the morning fog and everything is hunky dory. But most of the time, they just don’t feel true to life.

This morning, I rewatched Fireproof. It came out in 2008, while I was a 26 year old engaged ~~woman~~ girl, going through pre-marital counseling and getting ready to marry this awesome guy. I think we watched it together once it was released on DVD, so we would’ve been very newly married. I remember watching it thinking it was a great movie. I thought the acting, story and dialogue were alright, but still felt like a cheesy Christian movie….but a little better than others I have seen over the years.

Today I watched it through eyes that have experienced 1907 days of marriage, days that have been filled with untold joy, untold sorrow, easy times, hard times and everything in between. I watched with eyes that have seen others walk through separation, divorce and extremely hard times. I have cried with others who have been hurt deeply by marriage relationships.

Rewatching this movie, I realized how amazingly accurate it is; how true to life, real marriage life. The ways that we get into patterns and routines and think the other will never change. The ways that we think WE are right in every situation and if only THEY would change, the marriage would be so much better. So here I was, a self-proclaimed “Christian movie ~~hater~~ not a fan,” bawling my eyes out. Feeling a burning desire to write about what I had just watched.

I am nowhere near an expert. I know I will never attain that elusive “perfect marriage.” I will never be an expert in marriage. Nor will I ever be the perfect wife. Bret will never be the perfect husband. But, my heart has been set ablaze with a desire to help others in their marriages. To be there in the tough times, to remind them of the good times and through it all, give their marriages ultimately back to God.

I’m not here to tell you go watch Fireproof so it can change your life (but you’re more than welcome to do so. Watch it with your spouse while you’re at it. Tell me how it changed you both.) I’m not here to tell you that marriage is easy. Listen to this for more on that.

I’m not here to give you an easy answer. I’m here giving you an honest answer to your marriage struggles.

Marriage is hard. It requires a daily (nay, hourly) decision to choose your spouse and God’s ways over your own. It takes work every day. It takes putting to death your sin and your desire to have everything your way.

Do the work today. I dare you.

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