Author Archives: 365 days of marriage

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About 365 days of marriage

I started this blog in April of 2011. At the time, Bret and I were wedding photographers and it was a way to share how marriage is more about the day to day and so much more than the wedding day itself. For about 5 years, I blogged about the joys and sorrows of the Christian walk, marriage, work, family and friends. I’ve blogged every day since a few weeks after I started. In May of 2015, we photographed our last wedding. Now, I have become passionate about simplicity, particularly in marriage, Christianity, business, travel and life. For a number of reasons, we have become minimalists. I’ve found that having simplicity makes life so much deeper, refreshing and joyful. I hope that this blog will help others see the benefits of living simply.

Day 2130 – How Boundaries Have Changed My Life

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“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. Psalm 16:6”

I love this verse. Other versions, such as the NIV, say “boundary lines.” When I hear this verse, I don’t think “the rules that trap me from doing what I want.” I hear, “the boundaries that are there protecting me from harm.”

There are dozens of boundaries that Bret and I have establish and have acknowledged that God has placed in our lives. Here are a few that have helped me.

Other men – I am careful to not have private conversations with other men online or in person. I do not initiate them unless I must. I will include the guy’s wife, if I can. Even though I have no desire for anything other than friendship, I draw this line. A little conversation here, a little conversation there….and before I know it, if I’m not careful, a guy who is “just a friend” is becoming a confidant. If a guy messages me, I tell Bret about it. If necessary, I wait to respond to the guy until I can talk to Bret about what to say. You may think, oh, wow, that’s pretty extreme…but my marriage is the second most important thing in my life. I will defend its honor, purity and trust with every ounce of my being. A guy who is put off by my delayed response or even my cold manner is a small price to pay for my marriage. Having this boundary and being honest with Bret about who I talk to and about what has given us a high level of trust.

Phone notifications – I have turned off almost all of the notifications on my phone. I receive phone calls/voicemails, text messages, calendar notifications and my gmail (and this is only because of one of my jobs). There are no Facebook notifications or Twitter notifications or email notifications (my photography email in particular). I’ve read a lot about compartmentalizing my time…so I shut off that “need to be connected” and remind myself that there is nothing so major that can happen that it won’t wait until I check my email or Facebook….if it is, I’ll receive a call or a text. This has allowed me to truly enjoy my free time. I work when I’m “at work” and I enjoy myself when it’s time off.

Weekends – Since Bret started teaching, I have become fiercely against busy weekends. We may have a few commitments on one day, but I try to keep the other day clear. We don’t do much work on the weekends and I feel zero guilt about that. Again, if it’s that important, I’ll get a call or a text. It is incredibly energizing going into my week after a truly restful weekend. (I mean, look at how long this blog post is!)

Listening to sermons – I’ve been listening to sermons online for a while now, but I’m really trying to make them the very first thing I do. I am merely human, so I HAVE to have my cup of coffee before I can do anything worthwhile…even being happy towards my spouse. I’ve gotten great sleep on the floor…but I’ve found that those first few minutes coming from the dream world to the real world are a little harsher than they used to be. Thankfully, Bret is learning this quickly and just this morning, kept calling to me to get up and had a cup of coffee all ready to go. Within just a few minutes, I was all smiles and started my first sermon. It is such a great way to start the day. While I listen, I put together puzzles and can feel my brain loosening up and I am energized. It’s a happy thing to know my greatest need (being reminded of the gospel) is met at the beginning of my day.

Saying no – I have a pretty good idea of all of my boundaries, listed and not listed. I know what will help me stay in those boundaries and what will be unwise to do. The best thing I’ve learned in keeping in my boundaries is to say no. Those two letters hold a lot of power. The power to keep my mind pure, my heart loving Christ, my time to be used for growth and not destruction and a whole host of other things. If you want to see a big change in your life, start to say no.

What about you? How have boundaries helped you?

Here’s a boundary that kept us from falling in a really big hole. 🙂

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Day 2128 – 31 Reasons I Love Bret On His 31st Birthday

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Today is Bret’s 31st birthday, so I figured, why not tell you 31 things that I love about Bret?

1. His love for God over all things.
2. His humility.
3. His love of working out and finding new ways to push his body to the limit.
4. The way he can be completely serious.
5. The way he can turn right around and do something totally silly and ridiculous.
6. His thoughtfulness when making a decision – this guy does not make any decision lightly. Whether it’s about how to conduct ourselves with others or buying a pair of shoes, he takes a long time to think about it.
7. His patience.
8. The way he puts our marriage over everything except God.
9. His extreme focus on the one thing in front of him.
10. His generosity with his time, talents and money.
11. That he sees this world as not his home.
12. That he trusts me with our finances.
13. That he can talk to ANYONE and make them feel important and cared about.
14. His honesty.
15. His love for others.
16. His hardworking nature. No matter what he’s doing, he’s putting his all into it.
17. The ways he’s changed me for the better.
18. His openness to correction.
19. His willingness to jump in and help others.
20. That he goes by Mr. G.
21. His laugh.
22. His willingness to be impulsive with me.
23. How he’s helped me grow as a business owner and photographer.
24. How he’s become a part of my family.
25. How he pushes himself to do things like attempt Guinness World Records.
26. The way he’ll talk in a cartoon voice with me.
27. That he provides for me.
28. That he always wants to improve himself.
29. The way he acts like a big kid.
30. The way he thinks.
31. How he has made it through 2128 days of marriage with me.

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Photo credit: Nilepoc Media

Day 2127 – Mr. G Got To Eat At Mr. G’s!

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Tonight, we were driving home a different way and past a place called Mr. G’s! At school, Bret goes by Mr. G, because it’s just easier for the kids to say.

While it took a little while to get our food, it was worth every single second. Bret got a triple patty burger and I got a cheese steak and cheese fries. I don’t think either of us have said “oh my gosh, this is so good” so many times. Bret said, “that’s what a burger is supposed to taste like!” and I would say that the cheese steak was the best I’ve had outside of Philly. Hands down.

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Day 2126 – Sleeping On The Floor, By Choice

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We have been sleeping on the floor for almost 3 weeks. Here’s how it’s going!

First and foremost, we LOVE it! I feel like we get pretty restful sleep…even if it isn’t a full 8-9 hours. I want to say the last 3-4 nights, I’ve gotten between 6-7 hours…yet, I’m getting up with Bret and I’m feeling great throughout the day. I don’t really yawn (except for right now…because I said something about it) and I don’t really feel tired. I have no aches and pains.

Sleeping on a pile of blankets means that cleaning is SO easy. Just pull the blankets to the other side of the room, vacuum, move back and done!

There was one bad….a huge bug….a centipede bent on attack. Seriously, it RAN toward our bed! The alarms sounded and I was sitting up slowly and I saw his approach and I leaped from the floor with the grace of, well, there is nothing I can compare it to….I did not sound out a verbal alarm, only the wide eyed look of fear and Bret leaped too. This guy was in the corner of the room and RACED to our bed and ran around on it! Bret grabbed a shoe and that was the end of that. As far as I know, there have been no other attacks….but for the sweet sleep, a bug here and there is a small price to pay.

Since we’ve been trying to “live light” and only have things that we need, it’s helped with cleaning the apartment. I did a good scrub down and vacuum yesterday and I think I finished in under 30 minutes. What? I mean, that’s awesome! What have I learned in this area? By George, I want to get rid of more! It’s crazy how easy it becomes once you start. It is so easy to throw things away when your eyes are not on this world.

So, would you sleep on the floor?

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