Tag Archives: sober

Day 3002 – Three Years Sober – or – The Hardest Thing About Being Sober

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I can’t believe it’s been three years since I stopped drinking. I can’t believe alcohol doesn’t have power over my life anymore. I can’t believe I talk about it so openly now. I am so far from who I was. I am so thankful that my story is not one of alcoholism anymore.

In a lot of ways, being sober is very easy. Because I don’t have alcohol muting my brain, I can make better decisions about things. Because I finally decided that I could never drink again, I don’t drink. I am so far removed from that struggle now, that it’s easy.

But there are a lot of ways that it’s very very hard to be a sober person. Our society is all about drinking. From billboards that say “Pour your soul out,” to main characters on shows drinking so much you’d think they were all alcoholics. I was honestly more embarrassed to say no thank you to drinks after I quit than when I was trying to get more alcohol when I was drinking. It’s incredibly lonely at times. I can’t tell you how many memes are shared looking down on sober people or encouraged heavy drinking on my social media feeds. I think finding out I was an alcoholic and am now sober makes some people uncomfortable. It’s so outside of the norm that people don’t want to discuss it.

So here’s what I wish would happen and how you can support your sober friends:

– If you ask someone if they want a drink, whether they’re sober or not, and they say no, don’t ask again.

– Don’t share memes about how you’re boring if you don’t drink or you should have a drink because of XYZ.

– Don’t assume your sober friend doesn’t want to hang out with you while you’re drinking. Some that are trying to stay sober can’t be around drinkers, but some can.

– Celebrate every single milestone your sober friend hits.

– Treat your sober friend the same.

– Make sure you have a good assortment of non-alcoholic drinks at parties.

– Don’t take it personally if they don’t want to hang out with you in certain situations. If they can’t be around other drinkers, it will be hard for them to go to a party. Suggest some non-drinking activities to hang out with your friend.

This isn’t a “all my friends left me, everyone treats me terrible, etc.” post. My friends have been awesome about my sobriety. I am happy with my sobriety. But as I’ve been writing my book, and just made observations, I’ve noticed things that make me realize it’s not right and us sober folks need someone to speak up.

Are you sober? Have you seen any of these things? If you are, what are ways your friends help or hinder your sobriety?

And while you’re at it, hug a sober person today. 😀

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Day 2649 – How To Move On When You’ve Messed Up For The Thousandth Time

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One of the things I mentioned in my testimony about my alcoholism was this – “But I can now more fully say I understand forgiveness. I can more fully express that God is waiting with open arms to take us back. Even after we’ve fallen for the second time…the fiftieth time…the thousandth time.”

I felt like such a failure so many times when it came to my drinking problem. I would feel retched when I would see the sadness and pity in Bret’s eyes. I would be ashamed of the things he told me I did that I couldn’t remember. Some days, it would be hard to move on to the tasks of the day because of the weight of guilt and shame. There are days I still feel this way about other sins I struggle with. I am grateful drinking is no longer a problem for me but just reading my old journals and letters to Bret, I can see I take a LOOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG time to deal with things sometimes.

So what do you do? How do you pick yourself up and move on?

– Acknowledge that you messed up. Don’t make excuses. Don’t blame it on someone else.
– Accept God’s forgiveness – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
– Don’t dwell on your failures – “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8
– Practice thankfulness

What about you? How do you move on when you’ve messed up…..again?

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget.
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Day 2636 – My Life Changed One Year and 364 Days Ago – or – The Last Time I Drank

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When I blogged about the time I was arrested 10 years ago, I didn’t share that September is Recovery Month. I had NO idea this was even a thing until a few weeks ago. I wanted to share a few thoughts on an important day 2 years ago today.

Two years ago:
– I was drinking my very last drink…er….5 drinks.
– I was watching a show, which I would have to watch again the next day because I was so intoxicated I didn’t remember everything.
– I thought I needed to drink to have fun/escape/forget.

Two years ago tomorrow:
– Was the last time I would wake up hungover.
– Was the time I FINALLY took my alcoholism seriously, admit I really did have a problem and accept that I could never drink again.
– I experienced the start of one of the biggest transformations of my life. I am SO thankful God completely changed my heart with drinking. When people ask about how I stopped, it was all God. He put the desire to stop drinking in my heart, He gave me the strength to not drink again, He continually gives me strength to say no.

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