Day 3229 – Secret To Success – Know Your Numbers

Posted on May 14, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

This weekend, Bret and I spent some time figuring out our numbers in our real estate investing business. I do a lot of reporting and tracking so we can get a good idea of how things are working and our success rates. But those numbers haven’t told us everything. So we decided to see our ROI on different lead generating sources. It was really eye opening to see – wow, THIS lead generating source takes more time, but the ROI is UNREAL! Or, oh, I thought this source was really great, but it’s actually not.

It reminded me of a big success secret – know your numbers. I think it’s important for your goals whether you’re talking about your business or your budget. You can’t get by with what you think your budget is. You need to sit down and be really honest with yourself and your spending. One method we use to track our actual spending is Mint. It’s synced with all of our accounts and tracks all of our spending. You can think you spend about $200 a month on gas, but you actually spend $250. Knowing the true numbers is so important.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy, especially if you’re figuring this out with your spouse. Actually seeing on the screen how much you spent on Dunkin…or Krispy Kreme…can be a tough conversation. But once you get past that, it’s so so so good.

So what about you? How do you track your numbers? Have you taken the time to learn what they are? Let me know in the comments below.

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Day 3228 – Why You Shouldn’t Ask “When Are You Having Kids?” – or – Things I’ve Learned From Not Having Kids – repost

Posted on May 13, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

The follow post is one of my most read posts on the blog. I thought it would be appropriate to share today as a reminder to think before you ask someone “when are you having kids?” Especially today, which is a very hard day for those who desperately want their first child or another child. If you take anything away from this post today, don’t ask people about kids today.

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If you’ve read this blog any amount of time, you know Bret and I are not normal in a lot of ways. From sleeping on the floor, to having no real furniture, we are just weirdos. People don’t understand us sometimes, but that’s fine, we’re happy with our life.

Here’s another “not normal” thing to add to the long list of “Jen and Bret are weird” – We aren’t planning on having kids.

It’s something we didn’t expect. Both of us came from big families and figured we’d have a big family too. As we grew in our marriage, God made it clear kids probably weren’t in our future. When we meditate on our life, kids just aren’t in the picture. It is something we have prayed about, thought a lot about, and talked a lot about. Most of the time, when people ask or comment about us having kids, we laugh it off. “Ha ha, oh we’ll see!” It’s a minor thing to us when people bring it up. Something we shrug off like reactions to us sleeping on the floor. Even if we tell them we aren’t planning on having kids, and they follow up with, “Oh you’ll change your mind.” It isn’t a big deal to us.

But then we thought about things in a different light – what if we DID want kids and we couldn’t or were having a hard time getting pregnant? What if we had lost children?

This is when the desire to share this became about others.

We have a lot of people in our world that have struggled to have kids and desperately want kids.

I am writing this for them.

Please take a few minutes to look at someone’s situation from another angle before you ask “When are you having kids?!” Pause and ask yourself if it’s an appropriate question and time to ask. It may have been easy for you and your spouse to get pregnant. You may have several kids. You may not know that the person you’re asking has been trying, desperately, for years to get pregnant. You may not know of the tears, the heartache, the miscarriages.

Think about asking instead “Do you want kids?” or maybe, just maybe, don’t ask about their plans on having kids or not. If you don’t know if they can have kids or not, it’s for a reason. I understand, it’s a natural question. But it’s a really personal one. Trust me, I understand where the questions come from. In our society, there’s a “natural” timeline of steps.

Out of my deep love for those in my life that struggle with this – please stop asking them when they’re going to have kids. Please stop joking that you’re pregnant on April 1st. Please take a minute to think before you speak. And if you still want to ask someone questions like this, go ahead and just ask me.

originally posted 3/30/17

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Day 3220 – How We Wake Up At 5 AM And Actually Enjoy It – and – A Little Bit About Working With Your Spouse – repost

Posted on May 5, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

I wrote the following post in September. Eight months later and we’re still getting up most days around 5 a.m. There are days we sleep in until 7 or 8, if we’ve been out late, haven’t been sleeping as much, or if we’re sick. It’s crazy the amount of work you can accomplish getting up earlier. It’s like the hours from 5:30-9 are magical time expanders. Do you get up early?

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I think we have a new habit, and I think it will be around for a while: waking up at 5:00 a.m. on work days. Since we are building a business (real estate investing), there is a lot to do, all the time. I’ve really been digging in with data mining and management. We’ve recently started outsourcing calls, and it helps to put the pressure on me to keep up with finding numbers and not find excuses to be lazy. Since I don’t track my time on the weekends, I have no idea how many hours I put it this weekend, but it has been a lot. Oy. I have looked at SO many houses online! Though, it does get me dreaming about a home for us down the line. We have some pretty specific needs and wants, so it will likely take a while until we find it. Since Bret is back to school (today is the first day for the kids), having a routine is much more important. One way we’re fitting more in each day is by waking up at 5:00 a.m. I cannot believe I’m saying it….but we haven’t snoozed once since we started. I have ALWAYS snoozed. I have snoozed for HOURS. We’ll still be in bed, but we aren’t hitting snooze and trying to sleep for those precious 9 minutes. Once we have somewhat of a mental faculty going, we’ll start to say things that we’re thankful for. It can be anything from “I’m thankful you’re alive today” to “I’m thankful for this blanket” to “I’m thankful we prepped the coffee last night.” It makes such a difference in mood of the day right from the start. We’ll spend a little time chatting about the day and different things once the coffee is ready. Then I launch into my morning firsts (devotions, writing, blogging, etc).

It’s funny that we’re working together again. After we stopped photography, I thought it would be me working my jobs, and Bret teaching. Us working together, in a lot of ways, came out of left field. But I am SO pumped to be working with Bret again! Working with your spouse isn’t easy, it can be difficult, for sure, but the benefits outweigh those difficulties for us. One thing we’ve noticed is that I can get grumpy if I don’t get 8-9 hours of sleep. It takes a few days, but there is a noticeable difference. Last week, I was REALLLLLLLY grumpy, and Bret was like, ummmmmmmm, what? After more time than it should have, we realize it was because of my lack of sleep. Because Bret knows me so well, he can call me out on things, and we can work through them together.

A bonus to waking up this early is getting to see the sunrise. I was not disappointed this morning.

originally posted 9/5/17

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Day 3218 – How To Not Complain – or – I’m So Thankful That Bret Taught Me To Be A Devil’s Advocate – repost

Posted on May 3, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

One thing that I absolutely love and hate about Bret is that he is a devil’s advocate. When we first got married, I barely got to complain because he would always have a comeback to what I was babbling on about. “Well, you don’t know….” “Well, maybe they XYZ….” “Well, at least….”

He is the reason I’m such a big proponent of the “if nothing else” game. As I’ve grown in my devil’s advocating skills, I can even encourage Bret (ha ha, the student has become the master).

This can be a really sad and hard world to live in. There are so many opinions and sides and deep hate out there. I think something that could really help us all is more devil’s advocating.

Instead of thinking things like “I cannot believe they think XYZ,” “I would never ABC,” “All of 123’s are XYZ.” Try to think of things from the other perspective. “Well, if I had been raised in this environment, I can see how I would think/have trouble/struggle with XYZ.” “Well, if I had been in this situation, I might actually ABC.” “Well, I guess not ALL 123’s are XYZ. Maybe I can find out more about 123’s.”

I am in no way saying I have everything figured out. I cannot solve the world’s problems. I believe only God can fix what’s wrong here. But we can make things a little better by putting ourselves in others’ shoes.

It is also a very thankful way to live. When there are really rough days, I try to be super specific thankful. Being thankful for shelter, food, and health can really turn your day around.

And because I miss the little guy, here’s our rental car – Devil’s Advocate

– originally posted 8/20/17

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
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Check out our resources page.
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Day 3217 – It’s Ok To Cry Over Inanimate Objects – or – Ode To My First New Car

Posted on May 2, 2018 by 365 days of marriage

As I write this, I am waiting for a tow truck to pick up my car, Sam, for donation.

I have had Sam since 2005 when I bought him new. Up to that point, I only drove hand-me-down cars. I had experienced non-starting cars, no stereos, no heat or A/C, broken windows, and more. When I went to purchase my new car and the salesman asked what I was looking for in a car, I jokingly said – it starts, the stereo works, and I don’t want to have to use two hands to open or close the windows. He didn’t laugh. But that’s ok, I laugh at my own jokes, I’m ok if no one else does.

I only took a five mile test drive. I fell in love as soon as I sat down. It was a brand-spankin’ new car. I never experienced anything like it. There were only just over 100 miles on the car when I got it. Since that point, I’ve experienced some great things with Sam.

I had the first of many long conversations with my now spouse.

I took three cross country road trips with Sam.

I took dozens of shorter distance road trips.

Sam was also “arrested” and was put in an impound lot over the weekend when I was arrested for driving drunk.

I was sitting in Sam when I was on the outskirts of a tornado and was fearing for my life.

Sam took me safely to and from all but one of my weddings. (I did not realize this until just now.)

I always said I would be happy if I could get Sam to a quarter million miles, and I did. The final mileage count was 253,162.

After I cleaned everything out yesterday to prepare for the tow. I came inside and the weight of saying goodbye to this awesome car hit me. I sobbed and sobbed….and sobbed some more.

When Bret came home from work, and after we moved everything into the new car, he suggested sitting in Sam one last time. While I was completely drained at this point, I did. So we sat down and he asked some of my favorite memories. Bret remembered that we had our first heart to heart conversation while sitting in Sam. He thanked Sam for keeping me safe. For keeping him (Bret) safe too. We’ve been in a few accidents separately. Sam has hit a few deer – one totally butt bumped him.

I, of course, lost it again. I am so thankful for such an amazing car. He lived a great, full life, and will now help others.

I’m excited to make new memories in our new car. I can’t wait to start taking road trips with my new, amazing gas mileage. But I’ll never forget this amazing little 2005 Honda Civic LX Special Edition car, with blue sparkles in the black paint.

Thanks for the memories Sam.