We absolutely adore being guests at a wedding. I almost want to be hire us out as professional wedding guests. So much fun!
I got to get in the photo booth, put on by Prints Charming Photo Booths, several times throughout the night! I even got some photos with the mother of the bride! If you need a photo booth for your wedding or next event, check out Prints Charming Photo Booths. I know the owner and was very impressed by the setup and the quickness of receiving our photos!
Oh baby, what a week of highs and lows. Loss and gains. I started the weekend feeling great. I hit a recent PR in my running (which I finally took Bret’s advice, and am starting with a short distance, why do I wait so long to take his advice?), and I find myself here today quite sick. You should have heard my sexy phlegm (oh yea, I still make Friends references) driving home from the wedding. It got to the point that I had to stop talking.
On Friday, Bret’s co-worker invited us to the new Guinness factory here in Baltimore for a tour. Since I was way under the weather, I decided to stay home. When Bret arrived home, there was a crinkling in his coat. That amazing man brought me CFA chicken soup and some nuggets. I love that he still surprises me, even after 3032 days or 8.3 years. I am so thankful this man, who is the best friend I have ever had. Friends, that is one of the secrets to a good marriage – deep friendship.
Now I’m off to cuddle under blankets, cough my lungs out, and heal my body.
I must admit, the title of this post is a little misleading, mostly because I believe there is no wrong way to grieve (I wouldn’t suggest breaking laws though). Today I am attending the funeral of someone I knew their whole life. Someone years younger than me. It has me thinking a lot about grief and things I’ve learned.
My life has been marked by much loss, especially young people (mostly 18-25ish). It started when I was 15 and my 22 year old manager died. Five years later, I lost a very dear friend. After that, it seemed like someone near my age or younger passed away every year for several years. I have lost family. I have lost friends. Every loss teaches me something different. And I deal with every loss differently. The biggest thing that I have learned is to live every day as if you aren’t promised tomorrow (which you aren’t). I can happily say that I have lived this way. I really don’t have any regrets. So whether you are going through a fresh loss or one that happened years ago, here are some things I’ve learned and hopefully encourage you.
There is absolutely no time limit on grief. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t “moving on” fast enough, or “that still bothers you?!” There are still songs that I hear from a loss 15 years ago that make me want to ugly cry, no matter where I am.
Don’t be ashamed to cry.
Don’t feel bad if you can’t or don’t cry.
Don’t worry if you don’t know what to say to others walking through a loss. Most of the time, a big, long hug is the answer.
Don’t question someone else’s choices in how they want to grieve. Some want to honor those lost by wearing white or red or pink to their funeral. Bret has told me multiple times to wear something bright. Let this also be a shout out if either Bret or I goes, you are welcome and encouraged to wear bright colors and/or jeans. I have processed each loss differently. Sometimes that looks like attending every viewing, gathering, whatever. Sometimes that means not going to anything. Sometimes it’s a mix of both. Having attended so many funerals and viewings and memorials, I know what to expect, and I can judge how I will emotionally react, and sometimes it’s best if I don’t go. Sometimes people will want to celebrate by sprinkling ashes. Sometimes people will celebrate the life by making a big change in their own. Or by making a big donation.
Wherever you find yourself today, I pray that you are held tight with encouragement, that you are holding on to the good memories, that you are processing in your own time, that you are surrounded by people that understand where you are, and aren’t rushing you.
If songs help, here are two that encourage me, and I want at least For Miles to be played at my funeral. (Note, if you aren’t into harder music, when it goes instrumental, go ahead and stop it.)
And this one by All Time Low has been playing on repeat in my brain the last few days.
When I saw this day pop up on my “fun day schedule” I immediately thought of Cate Battles Fine Art. I started following her after I followed her travel page, Argosy Odyssey. She is part of a couple who is currently living out of their airstream with a dog and a goat. Her work is absolutely stunning, and ordering a piece is on my wishlist.
Since I don’t have a piece I can share, here’s a pretty picture. 😀
365daysofmarriage 