Tag Archives: loss

Day 3400 – Leaving A Legacy, Even In A Short Life

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I’ve blogged a few times about my dear friend who passed away 16 years ago, but today a new thought struck me. He left a heck of a legacy.

Scott was the second big super young loss of my life. He was a much closer friend than my first loss and I still feel the empty spot where he would be.

But as I sit here, 16 years after losing him, I am overwhelmed with the legacy and impact he left on my life. There are nice phrases people can say about how to live your life, but the following are true of me, and I can point to Scott as the reason why.

So Scott, thank you for teaching me these lessons.

– Hug tightly, longly, and with all that you are, because you never know if it’s the last hug.

– Live every day as if it was your last.

– Say what you need to say, so you don’t regret not saying it.

– Enjoy life.

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Day 3032 – A Full Week, A Hearty Cold, And An Amazing Husband

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Oh baby, what a week of highs and lows. Loss and gains. I started the weekend feeling great. I hit a recent PR in my running (which I finally took Bret’s advice, and am starting with a short distance, why do I wait so long to take his advice?), and I find myself here today quite sick. You should have heard my sexy phlegm (oh yea, I still make Friends references) driving home from the wedding. It got to the point that I had to stop talking.

On Friday, Bret’s co-worker invited us to the new Guinness factory here in Baltimore for a tour. Since I was way under the weather, I decided to stay home. When Bret arrived home, there was a crinkling in his coat. That amazing man brought me CFA chicken soup and some nuggets. I love that he still surprises me, even after 3032 days or 8.3 years. I am so thankful this man, who is the best friend I have ever had. Friends, that is one of the secrets to a good marriage – deep friendship.

Now I’m off to cuddle under blankets, cough my lungs out, and heal my body.

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Day 1390 – 15 Years Ago Today, My Life Changed Forever

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15 years ago, I was 15 years old and working at CFA. I actually really liked the job. I met some awesome people and had fun at the job. The main reason it was such a great job was the store manager, Pyle. He was 22 and just an all around great guy.

15 years ago today, he passed away. His was the first death I experienced (minus older family members). It was a very tough thing to walk through as a 15 year old. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was just the start of many deaths over the next few years. I’ve lost several friends who were younger than me or just a little older.

You could look at this and say, man, that really sucks that you’ve had to deal with so much death! But I can look back on these things and see how God was using them in my life. Primarily, that tomorrow is NOT guaranteed. Some people wonder how I can be so happy/joyful/have a good attitude about things…it’s because of these experiences in death. I know that I may not see tomorrow…so why waste my time being mad at someone…or worrying….or not saying I love you? It also has helped me appreciate the little things.

I don’t know if I have a “message” or a “point” in today’s post, other than sharing a day that really did change my life.

Since I don’t have a picture of Pyle, this is a sunset over Hunt Valley, where we worked together.

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Day 1343 – What A Beautiful Legacy

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I write this post with a heavy but also joyful heart. Yesterday, my grandfather, Vernon Wilmer, passed away.

He was truly inspiring and so much of who I am came from him.

He owned and ran a printing business with my grandmother….so I get my entrepreneur spirit and working with my spouse from him.
He photographed a few weddings (didn’t enjoy it…but still)….so I get my wedding photography skills from him.
He learned how to ski and joined the ski patrol after he retired….so I get my never grow old attitude from him.

He also loved Christ and I know where he is today.

I am so thankful to have known him and that I got so much of myself from him. He will be truly missed.

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Day 1209 – Remembering Scott

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Today I wanted to honor a very dear friend. I met Scott through mutual friends at church and became close. He was one of those people that you LOVED to be around….whether he was cracking jokes that made you laugh so much you wanted to cry….giving you a hug that took your breath away…or showing you what true serving meant…or having a serious conversation. He was an amazing man. Much older than his years, to be sure. I have many memories of Scott, but two stand out in my mind and I always share when I talk about Scott.

First, I was hanging out with a bunch of my friends and then most everyone went to go watch a movie. I hung out in the kitchen with my boyfriend at the time and Scott. Why the kitchen? Well, Scott had an apron on and was doing all of the dishes. It was just the coolest thing. He is still an example to me of serving other people, without being asked. What makes me laugh when I think back to this story is that he was wearing the apron. It convicts me, even now, that I didn’t offer to help.

Second, there was a time he was doing a street outreach in Chicago and was talking to a homeless man. Scott told him you should go to church. The man said, I would, but I never know what time it is. Scott stopped, and took off his watch and gave it to the man. I heard this story second hand, but I can still picture exactly what the scene would have looked like.

My dear friend Scott was taken from this world ten years ago today. He was so young, in his first year of college. I wish that he hadn’t been taken from my life so soon. I wish he could have met Bret. I wish he could have attended my wedding. I wish I could have hugged him when I found out I would finally be a full time photographer. But losing him changed my life and I still feel the effects. Losing Scott made me embrace every day with joy, realizing I am NEVER promised tomorrow. The Ray Bradbury quote, “Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds.” comes to life in me because of Scott. It also helped me get through Bret being deployed to Iraq. Because I had accepted so long before that life was short and never promised, I could honestly say, “He’ll come back to me or he won’t and that’s ok” and TRULY mean it. I mean, it was difficult, but I believe that it would have been almost unbearable if I hadn’t experienced loss.

But, for now I will remember…”He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Rev 21:4) On that day I will get the best Scott hug ever.