Day 1233 – Praying With Open Hands

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while. Months, probably. And it’s on the topic of prayer.

I thought this would be a post on how we’ve been praying specific prayers. But as I was writing, I realized it’s more about praying with open hands.

As you might expect, one of my consistent prayers is for more business….but over the last year, it’s changed. I will ask for business, but I will add, if it’s Your Will. I pray for financial security, if it’s His Will. I ask for growth, in whatever means it takes.

The theme that continues to run through my prayers really comes down to giving my requests to my Lord and leaving them there.

It’s holding my business up to Him, but with open hands. It’s understanding that at ANY moment, it can all be taken away.

And can I tell you, it is so freeing. It is so peaceful. Knowing that He knows EVERYTHING, so I don’t need to worry or question the WHY.

I am in a situation now that I never expected I would be in a year ago. And yet, I’m the most joyful and peaceful I’ve ever been. I’m so thankful for how God has changed me in that way.

So, open your hands, hold loosely to what you ask for. His hands are safer.

And since I can’t really share a picture of “prayer” I will share a picture of clouds. I always think of prayer when there are pretty clouds. 🙂

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Day 1215 – Our New Home…er…Room

As I was taking the pictures for today’s post, I honestly was a little embarrassed. I tried to take the pictures in such a way that you couldn’t see the concrete blocks on the walls, the unfinished ceiling and wires everywhere. I thought, man, I don’t want people to see this and think “wow, how low can you go?” What an ungrateful person am I! You know what’s going on with us if you’ve been reading this blog over the last few months. You know Bret lost his job and we decided to move back in with my gracious parents. We still feel it was God directing our path here. Here I am again, in a way, ashamed. And yet, I remember that this is a “sacrifice” to ensure our dreams can come true. Whenever these negative thoughts cross my mind, I’m almost immediately taken to a posture of thankfulness. I think about others who are without homes…everything…in New York and New Jersey….not hours away from me. I think of those who are living out of the cars. Bret and I met a guy at the climbing gym a while back…and he was from another country…I couldn’t tell you which now….but he mentioned how they never went out to eat….because they didn’t have the money. Bret reminds me of this when we go out to eat or order delivery and that we are living like kings. I mean, really, have you thought about that? Someone is bringing you food, cleaning up your mess. It’s crazy how much more thankful you can be if you just shift where you’re looking.

So, without anymore of my ramblings, here is our new space!

I love having the bookshelves in the main walkway…it has rekindled my heart with desire to read again. I have been reading SO much since we’ve been here!

And don’t worry, I didn’t keep my toys packed away!

Day 1161 – The Playfulness of God

Today I started reading John Eldredge’s new book, Beautiful Outlaw. The tag line is “Experiencing the playful, disruptive, extravagant personality of Jesus”

You may remember that the books written by John and Stasi Eldredge have changed my life. Quite literally. One ended a romantic relationship. One opened my eyes to the deep beauty of a biblical marriage. One inspired me to write my own book. All have encouraged my soul and deepened my walk with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Since I’ve been so busy, I didn’t realize John published a new book! Actually….it’s not quite new anymore….just realized it was published Oct. 2011! Yikes!

Anyways, I am SO excited to read this book! I’m only a chapter in, but I’m loving it so far. This first chapter is talking about the playfulness of God. Totally a characteristic we don’t think about often…or at all, really. I won’t share all the cool things I read, you can check out the book yourself! But, I wanted to share one of my stories of God’s playfulness with me.

It happened when I was freaking out about meeting Bret for the first time. I was driving up 95 and trying to listen to the radio and calm down. I’m one of those “HAVE to be listening to music when driving” people….actually, all the time. It makes me uncomfortable when there isn’t any music! So, here I am, trying to sing along….and I just can’t calm down. I turn off the radio and start talking to God….I’m talking the arms shaking wildly at the sky, out loud type. The conversation went like this:
Me – “God! Why are you always putting me into situations where I freak out like this?”
God – “Because it’s easy!”

Here is where I laughed and calmed down for about 2 minutes.

Fast forward a few more minutes and I was talking to my dear friend Kristi.
Me – “Kristi, it’s crazy, tell me it’s crazy!”
Kris – “Calm down, you’re just meeting a guy”
Me – “Ah, thank you, much better”
Kris – “But God’s ways are not our ways…..”

::insert another freak out::

I look back and see how God was just having fun with me. Not in the “kid with a magnifying glass over ants” way….but in the “joking around with friends” way.

I’m so excited to read a book that talks about this side of God! Because I wholeheartedly believe it’s part of who he is and it’s a side that really isn’t discussed enough.