Day 3035 – My Life Changed Forever 15 Years Ago Today

I cannot believe I’m writing this, but 15 years ago today, my dear friend Scott passed away.

On Saturday, his sister was married and we celebrated heartily with her. He was there, a seat was saved for him at the ceremony, and he was honored on the table of those not with us any more. It was also my honor to take Bret to Scott’s grave before the wedding.

This week has been such a picture of marriage, with it’s highs and lows. Sickness and health. Death and life. I am so thankful to have Bret to walk through all of it.

I wrote the following five years ago, but it still applies today about Scott.

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Originally posted 11/1/12

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Today I wanted to honor a very dear friend. I met Scott through mutual friends at church and became close. He was one of those people that you LOVED to be around….whether he was cracking jokes that made you laugh so much you wanted to cry….giving you a hug that took your breath away…or showing you what true serving meant…or having a serious conversation. He was an amazing man. Much older than his years, to be sure. I have many memories of Scott, but two stand out in my mind and I always share when I talk about Scott.

First, I was hanging out with a bunch of my friends and then most everyone went to go watch a movie. I hung out in the kitchen with my boyfriend at the time and Scott. Why the kitchen? Well, Scott had an apron on and was doing all of the dishes. It was just the coolest thing. He is still an example to me of serving other people, without being asked. What makes me laugh when I think back to this story is that he was wearing the apron. It convicts me, even now, that I didn’t offer to help.

Second, there was a time he was doing a street outreach in Chicago and was talking to a homeless man. Scott told him you should go to church. The man said, I would, but I never know what time it is. Scott stopped, and took off his watch and gave it to the man. I heard this story second hand, but I can still picture exactly what the scene would have looked like.

My dear friend Scott was taken from this world ten years ago today. He was so young, in his first year of college. I wish that he hadn’t been taken from my life so soon. I wish he could have met Bret. I wish he could have attended my wedding. I wish I could have hugged him when I found out I would finally be a full time photographer. But losing him changed my life and I still feel the effects. Losing Scott made me embrace every day with joy, realizing I am NEVER promised tomorrow. The Ray Bradbury quote, “Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds.” comes to life in me because of Scott. It also helped me get through Bret being deployed to Iraq. Because I had accepted so long before that life was short and never promised, I could honestly say, “He’ll come back to me or he won’t and that’s ok” and TRULY mean it. I mean, it was difficult, but I believe that it would have been almost unbearable if I hadn’t experienced loss.

But, for now I will remember…”He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Rev 21:4) On that day I will get the best Scott hug ever.

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About 365 days of marriage

I started this blog in April of 2011. At the time, Bret and I were wedding photographers and it was a way to share how marriage is more about the day to day and so much more than the wedding day itself. For about 5 years, I blogged about the joys and sorrows of the Christian walk, marriage, work, family and friends. I’ve blogged every day since a few weeks after I started. In May of 2015, we photographed our last wedding. Now, I have become passionate about simplicity, particularly in marriage, Christianity, business, travel and life. For a number of reasons, we have become minimalists. I’ve found that having simplicity makes life so much deeper, refreshing and joyful. I hope that this blog will help others see the benefits of living simply.

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