confidence | 365daysofmarriage

One thing that has really surprised me about sharing my story about my alcoholism and sobriety was confidence.

I struggled with low confidence and low self-esteem for a good portion of my life. I was always fearful of what people would think of me. So, needless to say, I was TERRIFIED of people finding out I got a DUI.

But then, I shared my story at church, and now, I’m writing a book about my drinking. Boy howdy, that is digging even deeper into my struggle.

Yet, I am the most confident I have ever been. I am who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. I don’t do things that aren’t true to me. I say no to things and I don’t feel like I need to apologize or explain myself. I don’t find myself trying to fill empty spaces with empty words.

I say yes to things and I’m not embarrassed if it’s silly.

I am unabashedly me.

It’s hard to look at the person I am today and not be totally surprised. I am worlds apart from the person I was, even just a few years ago. And you know what, I am excited about that fact. It shows just how big and deep of a change God made in me through helping me get sober.

Last night, I finished reading Sober Mercies by Heather Kopp (this is an Amazon Affiliate link. If you click the link and purchase this book, or something else on Amazon, I will get a small percentage of what you order, at not additional cost to you. I only share affiliate links to products I have personally used and love. Having read this book, I heartily recommend it). One thing that has been very hard for me to do is read books about alcoholism and sobriety. I’m not sure if I just wasn’t ready to read them yet or if it was how the author talked about their struggles. Or honestly, if it was just too soon after getting sober to go back to the darker times. I think there will always be aspects that are hard about remembering my alcoholism. There will always be things that I did (or didn’t do) that will haunt me. But my streak of starting an alcoholism memoir and not getting far was broken this week with Sober Mercies. On top of that, it only took me six days to read. Maybe it was that it was written by a Christian and just struck a deep cord – this person understands how hard this is. How seemingly odd it is that someone who knows all these things about God struggles so much. I am grateful for every word. It has given me renewed strength in writing my experiences – even if it means taking a totally different approach.

For my sober friends, what surprising side effects have you seen from your sobriety?