Category Archives: Christianity

Day 1717 – What Back Seat Driving With Bret Taught Me About God

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This post has been brewing for a few days. I’m constantly striving to trust God in my business and life. I look at my past, see the countless times God provided for us, gave us our daily bread…which includes times when I had NO idea how we would pay the bills…and yet we could pay, even if only the minimums, and had the exact amount…or a few cents to spare. I see how God used circumstances in my life to grow me into His character. Times when it was exceedingly difficult, crying myself to sleep, feeling utterly hopeless. I can look back and see God’s hand. I can see exactly what He wanted to grow or change in me in that circumstance.

When I look at my life I see a beautiful picture of a God who loves me very much…even if how He showed His love wasn’t what I thought was love.

I know these things. I can read my journals/blog posts/Facebook posts and think, “yep, I am very loved!”

But….oh you knew one was coming, right?

When I am in the midst of these times, I don’t see it. I have anxiety. I can’t sleep at night. Being a business owner leads to a lot of reasons to doubt opportunities to trust God.

What struck me this week is how much this whole situation is like me when I drive with Bret. Bret is a great driver. He truly is. Yet, when I am sitting in that passenger seat….he apparently becomes THE WORST driver! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said things like, “Babe! Turn here, do this, do that!” Or actually gripped the side of the car because it felt like he stopped too fast/almost hit the car in front of us. lol, this is another opportunity I have to grow in trust of my husband!

But then it hit me….when we’re driving cross country and I curl up in the back seat to sleep….I have full faith in my husband and his driving abilities. I don’t back seat drive…unless it’s giving directions to the hotel or somewhere else. I can sleep without a worry, because Bret’s got this. How much more true is this in my walk with my Lord?! When I sit back, relax and trust He knows where we’re going, it’s a much more pleasant trip….we also drive quite a bit further without incident.

During my devotions this morning, I flipped to Psalm 23 and the first verse hit me in a way I don’t think it ever has before.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23:1

A shepherd cares for His sheep. He makes sure they have food, water and shelter. That’s the bottom line that they need. Almost immediately after reading it, I had this picture of a sheep saying, “um, excuse me sir, but don’t you think the water is better over there?” or “Hmmmm, that sky looks pretty dark, shouldn’t we get to shelter?” The idea is almost laughable…a sheep talking back to the shepherd.

What about you? Are you back seat driving to God’s plan? Are you a sheep thinking he knows what’s up?

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Day 1714 – How Did I Get Here On My Photography Journey? Or God Has Other Plans

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How did I get here?

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
whom he has redeemed from trouble
and gathered in from the lands,
from the east and from the west,
from the north and from the south.”
Psalm 107:2-3

I am a wedding photographer and my journey starts where most photographer journeys start. One day a camera found its way into my hands, I discovered the joy of creating something out of nothing, something to last forever and I didn’t look back. I took pictures of my siblings, the dog and the outdoors.

Then one day, a friend asked me to photograph his wedding. I had no idea what I was doing and looking back, I probably shouldn’t have taken the job! But, thankfully, it all worked out well. Half way through post-processing, I found myself thinking, “Why on earth would anyone want to do this? It’s so much work!” But then, the pictures were edited, the albums designed and I was smitten. A few weddings later, I wanted to go steady with this wedding photography thing. After about my fifth wedding, I was truly in love and knew I was made for this.

Have you ever felt that way about something? That overwhelming, heart bursting, “THIS IS IT!” feeling? If not, I pray that you do tap into that part of your soul that God has placed in you. Your purpose. At the time, I thought it was just a fun job. It was a great part time gig! Thankfully, the jobs I worked through the years allowed me to do photography on the side. The retail job wasn’t as easy to work around, but thankfully weddings are booked way in advance, so I could take off. And I was still in the early stages of the business.

After the retail job, I landed an IT job, with perks of on the job training in the programs that I needed for my business. What a blessing! Learning about what I loved and getting paid for it! A few years later, I was working as an admin assistant and I knew this would be my last job. After a few jobs that lost steam after about a year (because I wasn’t doing what I was made to do), I knew I wouldn’t go for another “filler” job. In the midst of this “last job” I married my best friend, biggest fan, business partner (even though he didn’t know it yet) and love of my life, Bret.

For years, I longed for the day I would go full-time in photography. I have never dreamed about something so long in my life.

“A loving heart has waited long to see;
Those words will be fulfilled to which she clings,
Because her God has promised faithfully” Streams in the Desert – July 1

I read these words through tears. All evening, I had been searching for the answer. Only a few hours ago, I was offered the new position at my last 9-5 job. As soon as it was offered, I knew my dreams were coming true. When Bret came home from work, I read him what I found. His first response was, “it doesn’t say she!” After I pointed out the words, he agreed that this was God saying yes. That was the moment I started the third most exciting journey of my life, full time photography.

The first greatest journey was when I asked Christ into my heart, the second was when I said I do to my husband. This love of photography had started roughly ten years prior. I took photos of everything and anything. Then I was asked to shoot a wedding of a friend. When it was all said and done, I was in love. I spent the following 8 years growing my business. I had to work the 9-5 jobs to pay the bills but I always dreamed of the day I would be a full-time photographer. It had such an allure. It seemed like THE perfect job. I mean, wouldn’t you want to work for yourself? Make the rules? Make your own schedule? It’s the life!

I’m sure if you’re already a small business owner, you’re laughing at my naivety. I’m laughing at myself. What a crazy road it’s been so far. The past two and a half years that I have been full time have been the hardest, most blessed, most tearful, most joyful I have experienced yet.

The area that is the most exciting is that even when it is darkest, God has given us exactly what we need when we need it. Not what we want when we want it.

Everything I do is for His glory…and if there is an area that I don’t give Him glory…you better believe He loves me enough to challenge my thinking.

This is me at one of my first weddings. Even then I was loving my clients and crying when I gave toasts to them. 🙂

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Day 1707 – A Lesson About Anger In Jonah

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Jonah is the story about the guy who was supposed to go tell a whole city about God but he flaked out and tried to take a little cruise.
God sent a storm in response.
Jonah gets thrown overboard and eaten by a big fish/whale/whatever.
He finally gives in and cries out to God (which took three days by the way….talk about REALLY trying to run away from your calling).
He prays this “I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me;…yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God.” Jonah 2:1b, 2:6b.
He gets to the city and walks around shouting this “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” Jonah 3:4b
What happens? The WHOLE city repents. Even the king.
God has this response – “When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it.” Jonah 3:10

We look at this story and say, wow! Look at that! This guy tries to run away from what God tells him to do…finally does it….it’s almost like a cake walk, really….and he responds like this….

“But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry.” Jonah 4:1

What? Seriously dude? God gives you this huge job, you try to run away, finally give in like a kid (I can totally picture him like, “FINE!” and doing a little toddler pout.), shout a short line and the city is saved.

I’d be jumping up and down and going nuts!

But would I? Or would I question every thing about what just happened too? Would I say, you know, I can’t believe it took them THAT long to repent. I should’ve been able to just send them a letter to fix this.

But God. Ah, what wonderful words. He didn’t leave Jonah in this state. He loved him enough to lovingly show him how ridiculous he was acting. He loved him enough to not leave him in his anger. “And the Lord said, ‘Do you do well to be angry?'” Jonah 4:4

Then God grows this plant for Jonah to chill out under while he stews in his anger. Then God sends a worm to eat it up and take away his shade.

Here’s what happens next:

“But God said to Jonah, ‘Do you do well to be angry for the plant?’ And he said, ‘Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.’ And the Lord said, ‘You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?'” Jonah 4:9-11

That’s it, cliffhanger. But I imagine Jonah had another melt of heart like in chapter 2. What’s so awesome about God in this exchange is He doesn’t take the approach of “I’m a holy and just God, but also a loving God. They deserved punishing, but because of my mercy, I’m forgiving them.” Which was a very true approach. But God took it as a teachable moment, where He puts things into perspective. Aren’t you thankful God doesn’t leave us where we are?

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Day 1678 – Let Me Give You A Reason To Love This Snow

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There is a lot of snow outside right now. Like a bizillion pounds. In all seriousness, the last measure two hours ago was 12.8 inches. The state is essentially shut down (minus hospital staff and various other stores – to you guys, I am so sorry….and thank you.) There are some who are happy about the snow, some who aren’t. My only complaint is that Bret didn’t get more beer. 😉

For those who aren’t enjoying the snow, let me give you a little story that may make it a little warmer. You may remember that I really don’t mind traffic, that story may be a good reread today too.

This story takes us back almost exactly 7 years. It was Valentine’s day in 2007. We had just experienced a snow storm much like the one that hit today. The state was pretty much shut down (even I had off work! Ahhhh, so thankful those days of a boss making me come into work no matter what, are gone.) I was pretty excited about the day…hopeful for what I would accomplish. I started off with devotions and here’s what I wrote.

“I am so thankful for this day! Please bless my day, help me to live it to it’s fullest, help me to really grow during this time with you now. Father, please heal my wounded heart. Help me to embrace my singleness and where you are leading my life right now. I know you have my best in mind. You are so good to me!

‘His disciples did not understand these things at first, but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things had been written about him and had been done to him.’ John 12:16

How often this is true of us! We don’t know what God is doing until we get a major breakthrough and then we can see where he was working and his plan throughout.”

Now, what’s really special about this is that two days later, I met Bret. It was the first time in my life that I truly let go of finding someone. Before, it had always been halfhearted “I’m ok being single.” You know, the “if I say I’m not looking, he’ll show up,” kind of ok being single. But it wasn’t until that day, almost 7 years ago, that I finally let it go. I still remember that feeling.

So, if you’re stuck in the snow, wishing you could get out….just think, there may be someone, somewhere who just made peace with something….something that will change their life forever. It could be you.

And now for some snow pictures. 🙂

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There is a car in there somewhere…

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There should not be snow on there…

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Fitting to have a shot of our ceremony site. 🙂

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Hey, it is pretty. 🙂

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