One of the things we do at church is serve in the coffee ministry.
We’re very serious about it…
After church, Bret was on his way to work and I got a text inviting me to lunch with him! I love last minute meals with him. 🙂 Check out the chicken on the roof if you’re in the Joppa area! My pit ham was soooooo good! And the size of Bret’s head!
Today when Bret came home from school, we talked about a few things and we were freshly reminded of something that should be so obvious.
We HAVE to pray together. I’m being honest here and not saying we need to pray more. We are woefully failing in this regard.
As a Christian couple, we believe that our relationship with Christ, both individually and as a couple, is so important to the success of our marriage. We cannot do this “marriage thing” without God. With this fresh reminder, we have set a goal to pray and do devotions every morning and every evening. Tonight was such a sweet time of prayer about different things we’re walking through as well as some great reminders in the things we read.
We are going to read the Duck Commander devotional…um, how long have we owned that?! (Insert all knowing, forever preserved blog post proof – purchased on Day 1651, how many days have we read together? ummmm, yea…)
We are also going to read Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon.
I’m excited to see where this journey takes us! So what about you? What devotionals do you do with your spouse? Comment below and let us know what to read next!
One of my favorite analogies about the Christian walk is about a goldsmith/silversmith and how they prepare gold/silver. This will be a paraphrase of things I’ve learned over the years, so if anything is incorrect, I fully expect the goldsmiths and silversmiths to pipe in. From my understanding, they take the precious metal and put it over an extremely hot source. Boiling, forcing the impurities of the metal to the surface. Then the smith skims the surface to take the gunk and gross stuff, i.e. the dross, out of the metal. Then up goes the heat again….and again….and again. The process is not complete until the smith can see his reflection in the metal.
Now, how that applies to the Christian walk and marriage….first, my life verse:
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
To me, this verse means that life is hard. So. Very. Hard. We will walk through so many crappy things. But, the crappy things are bringing to the surface the crap in us. God takes us through them to sanctify us and make us more like Christ.
How does this apply to marriage and how hard it is? Well, I think THE best source of sanctification (i.e. dross burning) is your spouse. They will bring out things in yourself you didn’t even know were there. Over the years, I’ve realized how much has been brought to the surface because of Bret in my life. He’s pointed out things and has been soooooo patient as I’ve grown….and failed…and grown…and failed…and failed.
So, if you’re struggling with something (again) that your spouse has brought to your attention, remember they are put there by God to bring you to a deeper relationship with Him. God’s just working out the dross in your heart. Give your spouse an extra hug for dross burning today. 🙂
Here’s my dross burner!
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Today I was washing a few dishes. I got to a travel mug and thought how hard it was to clean inside the narrow cup, so I started scrubbing the outside and thought, ahhh, that’s easier! It hit me that this is pretty much how we view ourselves.
It’s easy to make ourselves look good on the outside. It’s easy to hide behind a mask of good manners (well, most of the time). It’s easy to make it appear that we have it all together. But at our core, we are hiding our sin.
It made me think about how I have been acting on the inside the past few days. It’s been a trying few days…there were a number of things that brought out the sinful nature of my heart in the last 36 hours. I had some pretty ugly thoughts. While on the outside I seemed alright (for the most part, lol, though, only my family members saw me the last 36 hours) inside I was cursing my circumstances and the things I had to do.
What I needed to do was remember how blessed I am. How small the inconveniences were compared to the things I have. And that my sin of discontentment has already been paid for by Christ’s sacrifice.
As I’ve been thinking about this, I’m reminded of the following:
Contentment means being satisfied and at peace with God’s will in all situations. It’s a state of the soul where your desires conform to wherever you find yourself. ~ Dave Harvey
I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. ~ Psalm 13:6
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About a month ago, I found a letter Bret had written to me from Iraq that he never sent. The past few days I’ve been cleaning up my files and found a whole big stack of letters. The bulk of these letters were written to each other when Bret was stationed in Iraq. We started dating about a week or two before he was deployed (only about 4 months after we met).
I want to share a few snippets with my readers. Not because I think we’re some great couple and have sweet/mushy/funny letters….but because the evidence of our trust in God in the situation is staggering….and humbling to me now…it’s crazy how mature my 25 year old self was about the whole situation. I share not to show how great we were….but how great God was and is in our lives. I see hints of who we are as a couple now and it’s wonderful.
So, take a read…it does get a little mushy, so you may want to skip out now if you’re not into that kind of thing. 🙂
Oh and here’s a picture of Bret from 2007. Take that throw back Thursday!
3/14/07 Bret to Jen
thankfully, i have been able to see that “all things work for the good” of people who believe in Christ. its hard, but i have been able to.
8/7/07 Bret to Jen
ps, i hope saying i love you to you never gets old. i seriously mean it every time. you have been my greatest blessing jen, and even if we dont end up together, i will always want the best for you. i love you.
8/11/07 Jen to Bret
Ah, ha, I just realized you’re super easy to please….and so am I….lol…that’s a very good thing. I really love that we can sit back and see what we are and what we have. God is so good for giving us this time apart so we can reflect on everything. It really has been an amazing time for me. I am so floored by the fact of how well I’ve been doing without you here…with you in a freakin other country dude. It’s crazy. God is so good to us. So very very good.
8/23/07 Bret to Jen
by the way, i received your letter today, or i should say letters, there was one typed, and i think another with a poem, and another hand written, or talon written (because i think a chicken scratched it out with his feet), letter from i guess it was you. but yeah, dont have a chicken write any more of your letters, i had to read the sentences a couple times. stupid chicken 🙂 but hey, dont worry, i really dont mind. its actually pretty amusing, i enjoy trying to figure out what some of the words are. its like a game: hmm, let me see, what word could go there, and still allow the sentence to make sense 🙂 although anything could go there, cuz i never really know what the heck jen is talking about anyways.
8/25/07 Jen to Bret
How good God is to us. ah, I can’t say it enough. It really is overwhelming, it’s so awesome God brought us together when we did, it was just the right time for both of us.
It is also a joy to be loved by you. You make it easy to wait. I know there are no guarantees we’ll get married, but isn’t that the way life is? I’m almost glad I don’t know.
“But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me…” 2 Timothy 4:17a
I read that line and couldn’t keep going. I was stuck. It made me think about where I was and how God has overwhelmingly strengthened me. I seem to forget my old self so easy. The person I was just a few months ago could never have handled having someone she loved as much as I love you in Iraq. I never could have imagined I could be as calm and truly thankful as I am. It’s so awesome I can be like this. Maybe the secret is thankfulness. I feel like that’s a big part, a heart of thankfulness really doesn’t have room for worry or future stuff. So here’s what I’m “us” thankful for:
– That we have a crazy story
– that we got together two weeks before you left – it makes things even more crazy/interesting
– that you make me love and appreciate who God is more
– that you also hate me more than I’ve ever been hated before (blogger’s note: when we were dating, we were “mean jokers” with each other. Thankfully, we had very wise pre-marital counselors who pointed out that this wasn’t a good thing…but it makes for a funny read.)
– that God loves us more than we love each other
– that you have, through how you love me, shown me even more deeply how much God loves me.
– still like me even though I write you mushy letters.
I love you like I love the oreo creame pie that’s in my freezer that I didn’t eat today because I’m not a fatty like you. 🙂
~ Your jennilyn
p.s. How’s that for an “I love you”
8/28/07 Jen to Bret
How good of God to give us such a large trial as you being in Iraq so that we can be made so very strong. Praise God I can say that! How good is our God babe, how good!
9/17/07 Jen to Bret
Overall, I want God’s best, whether that means we get married next year, or years from now, or not at all. I want his best, I know that I am no good at figuring things out, so I have to leave it with him. I do trust.
I really never knew what true friendship and love were before you. You encourage me to grow in ways I could never have imagined on my own. You help me to see clearly more and more every day how good God is.
10/1/07 Jen to Bret
So I guess I’ll try and send you more chicken letters. Though, I don’t know what you see in her. She has the worst handwriting. Oh well.
I think God is having fun and showing off with us, and I love that, it is so good.
10/2/07 Jen to Bret
do you know, like really know how much of a gift and blessing you are to me? Do you wake up in the morning and realize I’ve been thinking about you? That my days are a little brighter because of what God is doing in our lives? He is so glorified through us. It is such a joy to experience His hand so clearly.
Oooo! I’ll write you a poem. 🙂
a lifetime of tears
seemingly washed away
they kind of make sense
always running around
always seeking my own
until He stepped in
put His hand
smack in my way
after the air cleared
the rubble washed away
there you are
everything I think
I’ve always wanted
a love/hate relationship
(but mostly hate)
we’re on this adventure
crazy, new, perfect
made for us
with our special needs
mirrors His joy and creativity
we can only give Him all that we are
11/1/07 Jen to Bret
It is a wonderful dream though, you and me forever. What makes it so good isn’t that it would be all mushy, fairy tale like, it’s that it would be real, we would face trials and hard times, honestly I think that’s what I look forward to, working on things together. Man, I hope God is preparing us for each other. And my goodness have we both been through such rigorous preparation. I am thankful for every time my heart was broken now because of the joy it has been to have you mend it. I feel full and complete now because of your love.
11/5/07 Jen to Bret
I’m so thankful that I’m here for this part of your journey. You are such an amazing man. I can truly not wait to see what God has in store for you. You are going to do huge things for Him. I just pray He blesses me with serving beside you. I don’t think my imagination can fully grasp what God can do with us.
SPOILER ALERT!! – We did end up together. 😉
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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
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365daysofmarriage 