Category Archives: Christianity

Day 2023 – Guest Post By Bret – Reflections On Living With Other People For Two Years

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Just over two years ago, Jen and I moved back into her parent’s house, due to financial reasons. We had lived at the apartment for the first three years of our marriage. It allowed us to get closer to each other, and to really develop as a husband and wife. That season was a blessing, but it also prepared us for being back at her parent’s house. I would like to write some posts in the future on some of the significant things God has done during these last two years. This post though, will mostly focus on our relationships with her family, each other, and God. I want to share it to say, “Wow, check out what God has been doing,” and to encourage people who are going through less than ideal circumstances.

Living with other people, it is easy to see their faults. For example, our conversations are less private since we have been living here. There have been times when we were discussing something, and someone else jumps into the conversation. It isn’t malicious or anything and I’m sure we do it too, but it was something we noticed. So, that caused us to check our hearts and to ask God for patience. Just as He works in us, He works in others. Just as it takes time with us, it takes time in others too, but we have seen evidence of growth in ourselves and different members of her family.

We are also trying to be more considerate with what others are going through. Jen and I may be busy, when someone needs to talk to one of us or needs help with something. We have had to practice putting others first. We’ve had to remember that God gave everything for us, so we should be able to sacrifice for others. It may not be ideal, but perhaps that person needs to vent, or they just need advice, or someone to talk to. We are definitely not perfect at this, but we are seeing improvement.

One thing I had been in prayer for over the last year is for other men that I can build relationships with. I don’t really have any close male friends, at least the kind that I could pray with, challenge, encourage, etc. Then God was like, dude, you’ve got other guys in the same house with you. I prayed for opportunities to build closer relationships with the other guys in Jen’s family, and immediately opportunities arose, mostly without me seeking. I would get to discuss something one of her brothers was going through, or they would be able to help me with something I am going through. I have been able to pray with them, and even sing when one of them is practicing music, and I don’t like to sing Christian songs for the most part. Ugghh. I have to say, sometimes God answers prayer very quickly. I have been so blessed by conversations with each person in her family, not even just the men, though.

Even better than closer relationships with her family, has been a closer relationship to each other and to God. Through things that each person in the house is going through, we have seen that, really the best thing we can do for another person is to pray for them. Yes we can give words of encouragement, give them a ride somewhere, let them use our things, or help them with some chore, but sometimes the only thing you can do is pray for them. When we don’t know how to answer a question, or how to help in a situation, we try to read what God’s word says about it. We may discuss certain situations, and pray about them together. Then Jen and I will challenge and encourage each other. This has really helped us grow closer to each other, but most of the time we are reading and praying individually, which really helps us get closer to God. So, I can say God is working through different situations and relationships, at the very least because I can see growth in our relationship with each other and with God.

So, if you are living with other people when you would rather be alone, or with fewer people, consider a few things. Be patient with them. You’re not perfect either. Look for opportunities to bless them, and be aware of the ways they help and bless you. They may do a lot more for you than you realize. Though even if you think they don’t, remember that God does a lot more for us than we realize or deserve. Lastly, use this time to grow closer to them, and closer to God. When you don’t know how to deal with them, or how to help them, or how to encourage them, go to the Bible and to prayer. Even if the opportunity to tell them what you read doesn’t come up, and it often doesn’t, you will be learning something and getting to know God better, and wow is that awesome.

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Day 2022 – Rend Collective Concert

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Over the last few years, I really haven’t been to a concert. It has been a mix of no time, trying to save money and just making excuses.

Tonight, I got to see Rend Collective. They are just plain awesome. A folk-y, emotional-y, up beat-y, worship-y (I’m trying to find excuses to make everything this-y) band. Their worships songs set my heart on fire with praise to God.

I wasn’t sure how the concert would be because it was a different set up than I had experienced at a concert (read that as, I’ve seen Tool, Thrice, Flatfoot56….and I am an unabashed mosher…I do not sit quietly at a concert)….this was set up like a church service…..but as they started into Build Your Kingdom Here, my hands started clapping, my body started jumping and I knew it would be one of the better concerts I’ve attended. I was not disappointed.

Actually, to call it a concert is a disservice to what this band is about at their core. Truth be told, I felt like I was just hanging out with a bunch of friends (several hundred friends) jamming and worshiping God. The whole session was interspersed with prayer, comments about our shared God and even a “mini sermon” about not letting guilt hold you back from worshiping God. By the end, my soul was full of praise, my face was marked with dried tears and I had a renewed love of my God and worship.

I really need to get out more….

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Day 2020 – A Lesson Relearned And Utilized Today

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I’m going to say again, depression is one of my biggest struggles in life. Since I’ve been working from home, it’s been a MUCH bigger struggle. That struggle was somewhat lessened when we moved back in with my parents….since I see people more on a daily basis (which helps). But either way, it’s SOOOO much easier to fall into my old ruts at home, in the basement, all alone and cold (today is a perfect example as I’m huddled up in my fingerless gloves, an old sweatshirt and a ski cap….I actually look like a teenage boy and/or someone who is about to rob a store….which is why today’s picture is not of me). When you’re all alone….it’s much easier to feel like I’m a complete failure.

This morning, a few things happened that put me into almost immediate depression before I even got out of bed. Seriously, that is the WORST. I almost went back to sleep, but knew I should get up and try to do something with my day. I started brewing my coffee and it was following me, that feeling of dread, anger and sadness.

Thankfully, the last few months have been a HUGE growing and learning time for me. I’ve felt more in tune with God and learning so much more about Him and myself than I have in my whole life. A big lesson is not to heap on the condemnation when I’m having a bad day. In a way, I’m giving myself the “ok” to feel bad and not get as much work done as I expected I would. It’s also helpful to have really mindless tasks ready to go so I can just veg out in front of the TV….I’ll freely admit here that I totally had a Bachelor binge yesterday…and while I did have a pretty productive morning up to that point and felt ok with the binge…when I started this morning feeling like the day was already over, I said, no way day! I am going to fight this!

I sat in bed with my coffee and started searching for some inspiration. I found a great video that moved me to tears and started to pull me out of the depths of wallowing. It was a great reminder of who I am as a Christian and what the Gospel is.

After that, I started my devotions. As I journaled and read, the fog lifted. But, I know how sneaky depression can be, and I wanted to be prepared. I prayed for a verse that would help me navigate through the day. Now, this isn’t the most “biblical” of methods….but I’m a bible skimmer/flipper when looking for inspiration and help on different topics. I think that God can speak to us this way…but it isn’t the MAIN way we should be searching for His guidance on a topic. I tend to always hear Isaiah when I pray for verse…another reminder to actually do a bible study in my study bible on the whole book! I started this a while back and got some great insight out of it…..Anyways, I came across this verse…

“In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. If anyone stirs up strife, it is not from me; whoever stirs up strife with you shall fall because of you.” Isaiah 54:14-15 ESV

I realized just now, that the part “whoever stirs up strife” could actually refer to myself too…my internal voice that SOOOO loves to be depressed and stay in that state.

Well, I’m happy to say that today has been one of the most productive I’ve had in a while. All because I decided to look to God and His Word to me for strength. To see growth in myself in this area of depression gives me hope that God is a powerful, loving and personal God…..Who is also powerful, loving and personal enough to help you with YOUR struggles.

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Day 2009 – Don’t Pray For Patience – or – Ask And You Shall Receive – or – God Answers Prayers

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There seems to be a running joke among Christians about praying for patience. Basically, if you pray for patience, God will give you situations where your patience is tested. Pray for other things, but not patience!

Recently, God has been doing a HUGE work in me. I have been learning so many things about my Lord that I never knew or never understood on such a deep level. Bret and I described it as…you learn all this stuff and then realize that what you’ve learned is the size of a bucket out of the ocean. There is SO much to learn and experience in your walk with God. It’s awesome.

Anyways, so I thought, you know, I really could use some growth in patience. That’s where the fun started. Here’s my timeline of “patience testing.”

Friday – noon – I was browsing for a new laptop in an electronics store (we won’t mention where because this post is about MY heart, not my customer service experience), and found the PERFECT laptop. I mean, just perfect. Even down to a separate number pad on the keyboard (remember I’m a huge financial nerd, that I get giddy over PivotTables in Excel). Super fast. I just loved it. OK! I look for the box underneath so I can purchase it. I find one, compare numbers, nope, not it. I look around the store….all reps are busy….look underneath some more….look around…all reps busy….none in sight really. Do a little more browsing in the laptop area…..no reps. Go back to said laptop….look around the store some more (I’m thinking, hey, I’ve got the “I’m a customer who needs help” look down pat!)….nothing. Finally, Jen gets her ticked off, I’m never shopping here again attitude and leaves the store. I had opened a website with more info about the laptop and pulled it up in the car. After looking it over, I realized it wasn’t the exact model, just the model line. Jen continues her tickedoffness and goes back in the store and takes a picture of the spec sheet and price tag. Leave store still ticked off. No one asked if I needed help once! (The nerve!)

Friday – noon and some change – go to Big Lots to browse. Pick up an armful of harmful foods including Queso, Zebra Cakes and Nutty Bars and make my way to the check out. The customer service I got was AWESOME! The girl asked me how my day was….and not the normal “I’m supposed to ask you how your day is because they told me to” but the “hey, you’re a human, I’m a human, and I genuinely care about how your day is going.” It was a lovely experience. I left feeling much better about life in general and customer service.

Friday – four-ish – get ahold of husband and ask him to pick up laptop at same electronics store but a different location. Husband gets to store, calls me to find exact model, finds it and is at checkout asking me questions about protection plans, etc. Card is declined. Hmmm, interesting, ok….card is declined again. Log into credit card account and see my account is restricted. Call credit card company and after hearing wait time is long, call husband back. Decide to transfer money so check card can be used. Log into bank accounts. See a message that unsuccessful attempts have been made to log into our bank accounts. Change bank account password, transfer money, ok, good, laptop is purchased and husbandpants is on way home. Going out on a date is discussed. At this point, I call the credit card company to figure out what’s wrong. At the beginning of the call, I am asked to review recent purchases to see if they are fraudulent or not. The auto operator asks if I recognize a purchase for XXX at Ford Electronics. Why no, I do not! Put on hold to be transferred to operator.

Friday – five-ish – while waiting to chat with CSR at credit card company, I look up said Ford Electronics, located in Cali near a hotel we recently stayed at. (This is where I start coming up with a lengthy reason why this is happening….including, but not limited to the hotel where we stayed in California being robbed and our credit card stolen…..I even looked up any robberies in the area….AND Ford Electronics….which is more of an electrician’s store and not somewhere a thief would buy a TV or something). I’ve been on hold for about 5-10 minutes and I hear water leaking. I’m in the basement and have had a leak just above my computer in the past. Just as I’m about to look for said leak, the operator gets on the phone. Ok, check on that later! I then talk to the rep…long story short….the automated operator said a purchase for electronics…not Ford Electronics. All the attempted purchases were from us. It was Bret buying the laptop that triggered it. Whew! Well, that’s good news! I then realized that I recently changed my bank account password and the “attempted logins” were from our mint.com account. Whhhhhew!

Friday – six-ish – recruit brother to look for leak in basement. Search high and low and find leak ON my desk. It was leaking from a cup (with a very small hole) going under my binders (thank goodness for page protectors!) and onto the floor….but not directly on the floor, oh no, on a plastic batman cape. Of all the places for it to leak, it’s a Batman cape….that’s PLASTIC! After I cleaned up the leak and having torn apart my very nicely cleaned desk….I grabbed a book and the iPad and left the area. No work was to be done after this experience. It was then that I realized, oh, yes Jen, you prayed for patience….and what’s happening now? Oh, yes, a chance to test your patience…..but wait, there’s more!…..

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Friday – nine-ish – after having a nice dinner date with my hubby, we returned home, plopped on the couch and continued our Friends marathon (he’s never seen it straight through and it’s been a fun experience to see him laughing at jokes I’ve known for years). I proceeded to set up my laptop while we watched. It has a fancy shmancy audio system, so I was testing it out. Not bad! But let’s try a movie! I put in a brand new DVD….nothing. Try another DVD….nothing. I realize that the DVD player is not working at all. At this point, I thought, waiiiiiiiit a second, I’m in “patience testing time” so I said, I’m going test this out in the morning with a clear head. Take that lesson!

Saturday – morning-ish – I spent a good hour doing all the tests my laptop provider suggested. After all the testing, I deduced that my optical drive was damaged/not working/etc. I emailed the provider with the situation and now I wait. Instead of being super upset that my brand new computer isn’t working as it should, I’m thankful that I have another laptop that still works well enough (I mean, it’s not perfect, which is why I bought a new one).

The whole experience of the last 24 hours has reminded me the “secret” of patience….and, in my opinion, life….and that is thankfulness. If you take ANY situation and put it through the lens of thankfulness, you will be the better for it. Even the biggest, worst, most awful experiences, can be put through the lens of thankfulness….especially for a Christian who at the very end of the rope can say….”if nothing else, my sins are forgiven….when God looks at me, He sees His Son’s payment for my sin and I am right with God and will live forever with Him.”

At the end of the day, isn’t that the most important thing?

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Day 2003 – How $0.11 Made Me Cry – or – How $0.11 Showed Me How Much God Loves Me

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I had a few ideas for today’s post. Maybe I’d import the pictures from Bret’s attempt and put up some of my favorites. Maybe I’d put up that oft repeated picture of me sleeping or update it and take a new picture. Maybe I’d talk about our travel experiences back. I think I was set on pictures of Bret’s attempt, even if it was just a sneak of me carrying him.

I also had a few ideas for how I would handle my day. I have a long list of things that need to be done. Hundreds of emails to go through (really just filing or deleting, because I kept up with email remotely while away). Tasks to complete like unpacking, wash and cleaning up. My to-do list includes a ton of things – albums to start, tasks for clients. Things I couldn’t do while away for clients, etc. It’s going to be a busy week. But I’ve pretty much taken the attitude of whatever gets done today, gets done. That’s it. When we woke up around noon, I figured it wasn’t going to be the most productive day, and I’m ok with that.

Anyways, as I was sitting at my computer for the millionth time today, I started working on balancing our accounts. Again, I did what I needed to remotely, so it was just a matter of documenting and reconciling. It took me a little while to reconcile out checking account because we recently started a few auto withdraw payments, so I have to leave money in the account. Honestly, I hate doing this, because I love reconciling the account down to $1.00. The financial perfectionist in me loves seeing that $1.00. And random cents, oh man, drives me crazy. I like my accounts ending in zeros. So I’m figuring all this out, I make the transfer to pay my credit card and then I go to reconcile the checking account after the transfer….and I saw that after paying the credit card, I had $147.00 left in the account. An even number, no cents. I immediately teared up. I felt so much love from God. As I was feeling the weight of this, I almost started to sob. It was another reminder that God is real, that He loves me and that I am important to Him.

What I love about God is that He speaks to each of us in our language. He shows His love in ways that we understand. The big deals to us are a big deal to Him.

So what’s your 11 cents today?