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About 365 days of marriage

I started this blog in April of 2011. At the time, Bret and I were wedding photographers and it was a way to share how marriage is more about the day to day and so much more than the wedding day itself. For about 5 years, I blogged about the joys and sorrows of the Christian walk, marriage, work, family and friends. I’ve blogged every day since a few weeks after I started. In May of 2015, we photographed our last wedding. Now, I have become passionate about simplicity, particularly in marriage, Christianity, business, travel and life. For a number of reasons, we have become minimalists. I’ve found that having simplicity makes life so much deeper, refreshing and joyful. I hope that this blog will help others see the benefits of living simply.

Day 3161 – A Surprising Side Effect Of Sobriety

One thing that has really surprised me about sharing my story about my alcoholism and sobriety was confidence.

I struggled with low confidence and low self-esteem for a good portion of my life. I was always fearful of what people would think of me. So, needless to say, I was TERRIFIED of people finding out I got a DUI.

But then, I shared my story at church, and now, I’m writing a book about my drinking. Boy howdy, that is digging even deeper into my struggle.

Yet, I am the most confident I have ever been. I am who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. I don’t do things that aren’t true to me. I say no to things and I don’t feel like I need to apologize or explain myself. I don’t find myself trying to fill empty spaces with empty words.

I say yes to things and I’m not embarrassed if it’s silly.

I am unabashedly me.

It’s hard to look at the person I am today and not be totally surprised. I am worlds apart from the person I was, even just a few years ago. And you know what, I am excited about that fact. It shows just how big and deep of a change God made in me through helping me get sober.

Last night, I finished reading Sober Mercies by Heather Kopp (this is an Amazon Affiliate link. If you click the link and purchase this book, or something else on Amazon, I will get a small percentage of what you order, at not additional cost to you. I only share affiliate links to products I have personally used and love. Having read this book, I heartily recommend it). One thing that has been very hard for me to do is read books about alcoholism and sobriety. I’m not sure if I just wasn’t ready to read them yet or if it was how the author talked about their struggles. Or honestly, if it was just too soon after getting sober to go back to the darker times. I think there will always be aspects that are hard about remembering my alcoholism. There will always be things that I did (or didn’t do) that will haunt me. But my streak of starting an alcoholism memoir and not getting far was broken this week with Sober Mercies. On top of that, it only took me six days to read. Maybe it was that it was written by a Christian and just struck a deep cord – this person understands how hard this is. How seemingly odd it is that someone who knows all these things about God struggles so much. I am grateful for every word. It has given me renewed strength in writing my experiences – even if it means taking a totally different approach.

For my sober friends, what surprising side effects have you seen from your sobriety?

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Day 3160 – Unique Names Day – or – Hard To Spell Names

Woo hoo, happy unique names day to my fellow unique name holders! I love being Jennilyn Gaitan, even when I have to spell my name instead of saying it, or when I have to mentally correct people when they say my name wrong or spell it wrong, or when I do tell people not to call me Jennifer. It’s a pretty neat feeling knowing you are the only one with your name (full name, not just my first name) in the whole world. I’m fairly certain Bret is the only one too.

Fun fact, part of my name comes from Jenny Lake, which I got to share with Bret.

And if you’re wondering, my preferred names are:
Jen
Jenn
Jennilyn
Mrs. G 🙂

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget.
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
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Day 3159 – How We Continue To Stay Out Of Debt, How We Have Money Saved, And How We Had Extra For Taxes

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would have a three month emergency fund, that I would be debt free for almost five years, that I wouldn’t get anxious when paying bills, and that I would get excited about taxes, I probably would have called you crazy.

I came into our marriage with about $30,000 of debt. This was from reckless spending, big purchases, starting a business on credit cards, and having to pay for necessities on my credit card while using all my cash paying for things for my DUI. Ha, if you also told me 10 years ago I’d be 100% ok talking about getting arrested and talking about my drinking problem, I would have called you crazy….and been super embarrassed that you knew I was arrested.

Through Bret working like six jobs, me working two jobs, extra money coming in because of the GI Bill, and very strict budgeting, we were able to pay everything off less than four years into our marriage. Since then we’ve stayed out of debt and have been able to save. Our savings accounts have fluctuated over the past few years. At one point we did have six months saved, but gave a bit away and went on a few adventures.

So what have we been doing since then that I was actually excited and not stressed at all about our taxes?

Here are a few things:

Since well before I was married to Bret, I kept a detailed spreadsheet that showed my income and expenses for 1-2 years into the future. I can see what times of the year will be harder than others (right now that’s the summer since Bret is paid on a 10 month schedule at his day job), I can see when we would have to dip into savings unless we made an adjustment, and I can quickly see how a change in expenses will change things for the rest of the year (and into the next). But this approach has some disadvantages and doesn’t show the full picture.

To get a very detailed picture of how we spend our money, we got an account on mint.com. It’s a free service that connects to all of your accounts. You can set up budgets for all areas of your life and get notifications when you’re getting close to a budget. When we first signed up, I was shocked to see how much we spent on gas. It was much more than I thought we spent. What I love about mint is that is shows a very real picture of how things are….not how you want them to be. It has limitations too, for sure. Just yesterday, I was told I was over budget for home insurance because I paid the balance in February instead of April. I know I have the money there, but mint wants to show me a big red in that budget. This is why it’s been helpful to use several methods to track our money and budgets. One thing I didn’t know I could do until recently was actually split receipts. So if I go to Walmart and buy groceries for us but also some notebooks for my business, and supplies for our business, I can split it in mint.

Before we got our first check for the real estate investing business, we decided how to divvy out the income. 30% goes right back into the business, whether this is a larger budget for the next few months, or to help us get through summer months. 32.5% goes into our savings account. 32.5% is saved for taxes. 5% is for celebrating/travel/etc. Because of this method, we were able to have money set aside for taxes. So there was no anxiousness for when the bill came to both pay our accountants (who we LOVE by the way), or even if we had to pay the government. Because the money was there, for that purpose. It was a totally trippy feeling, but very very cool.

The next thing we want to work on is having a good idea of if we’ll owe or get money back. We don’t want to go into our tax season wondering what’s going to happen. I mean, we had this money just sitting in an account waiting. If we had known what our taxes would have looked like a few months ago, we could have invested that money back into the business sooner.

And I’ve heard some businesses use things like boats to save on taxes, so….life goal? 😀

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget.
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Day 3158 – Our Epic Day Off

We were completely surprised by the day off on Friday. Just the fact that Bret had off school and I had a lighter to-do list would have been enough for a great day right there. But as things progressed, it just got better. Later in the morning, we received word that we would not owe on our taxes and would be getting money back. We saved a percentage from each of our real estate investing deals, in case we did have to pay. So we found ourselves with money to reinvest in our business and ourselves. I was SO siked because it also meant that I would be able to stay the night somewhere for my solo vacation, which I will be taking next weekend.

At this point, we did another happy dance, and promptly decided it was a good day to have ice cream for breakfast.

As the day progressed, I realized that wasn’t the best of ideas (I’m slightly lactose intolerant), I ate some healthy foods for lunch, but dinner was a different story…

We finished the day with Harry Potter and a ton of junk food. It was a truly wonderful day.

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget.
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
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Day 3157 – Guest Post: Bret Sharing About Faith In Moving Out And What God Has Done So Far – repost

I had every intention of posting about one of a few topics that have been floating around the past few days. From an amazing book I’m reading about a Christian alcoholic, to how epic our day was yesterday, to my ever deepening love of my spouse, to books I’ve currently reading. But as I was working through my morning checklist (ha ha, this afternoon), I came across this post Bret wrote a few years ago. It was such a great reminder of God’s grace to us during that time. It was a great reminder of where our finances are now (which is another blog post floating around).

This post stopped me in my tracks and had to reshare. It sure it fun being married to not only a fellow business owner but also a fellow writer.

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originally posted June 3, 2015
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I heard a story about certain military training. Supposedly it includes carrying a pack, performing exercises and challenges, and might even take place over a few days. As the participants get near to what they believe is the end, they can see the finish. They are relieved, thinking they are almost done. However, their leaders keep walking past the finish line, and tell the participants that they are half way done, because they are doing another lap. After days of enduring, it is at that point that many give up. They were able to keep going just a little while before, because they thought they only had a short way to still go. After many have given up, and the remaining participants have walked only a little ways further, the leaders then tell them that they passed, and are done. The test was not just about how far they could physically go. The leaders wanted to know how many would keep going when things were tough, when they didn’t think they could keep going.

I liken this to having faith in God. Jen and I recently moved out. Not so I could have a shorter drive to work. Not because of any specific people in our lives. Not because we were tired of living with other people. The main reason Jen and I moved was because I felt God telling us to move, specifically because of some issues in my heart. You can read the post about moving out here. I didn’t want to move out, because I was enjoying growing fellowship with two of her brothers, and even her mom, but God told me that my relationship with Him was more important. I also didn’t want to move out because of the increased expenses it would bring. Still, God said if I did not move out, He was going to turn my life upside down, because He loved me enough to bring discipline if needed. I could look back and see how God had been having grace with the sin in my heart. I was reminded of Romans 2:4 – Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

See God had been being patient with me, and was telling me He was going to change how He was dealing with me. I was then reminded of Revelation 3:19 – Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.

Another similar verse is Hebrews 12: 5-6: …My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.

He brought to my thoughts other people whose sin had negatively affected their whole life, even the lives of their loved ones around them. He was going to start doing whatever it took for me to take my sin seriously. I literally put my hands up during prayer and said, “Ok God, I give up, I’m sorry for delaying. We’ll go.” The next day we were looking at apartments and two days later, we were signing the paperwork.

So what am I getting at? This is what Jen wrote on the original post: “So at this time, while we’re not sure where all the money will come from and where God will lead us, we’re excited and having faith to see what He has for us, and the growth that will occur during this next part of our journey. Especially in Bret’s heart.”

See, our expenses were going to be at least 400 dollars more than our income, every month. Still, I knew that if God was telling us to move, He was going to provide. If He didn’t provide, then we would use up all the money he gave to us from the insurance on the truck when it was in the accident (another amazing story of God’s grace, we’ll tell you about another day). Instead of seeing that money as something to save, I saw it as something God may have provided before we would need it. If we went through all of that money, then went broke, I would still have faith that He had told us to move out.

Here is the awesome news: only 1 month after moving out, Jen noticed a mistake she had on the budget. She hadn’t included a huge chunk of monthly income, which would allow us to not just afford to live here, but even continue to save money. I believe God had kept our eyes closed to that fact, so that when we moved, it was in faith in God, not in the money. And now we look back, thankful that God gave us the faith.

There is a difference in asking God if we can be sure if He will keep His word, and asking how He will keep His word. When John the Baptist’s dad, Zechariah, heard the angel tell him his wife would have a baby, he asked, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years” (Luke 1:18). Because of that, he was caused to be mute until John was born. However, when Mary was told that she would give birth to Jesus, her question was, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” (Luke 1:34) Zechariah was asking how he could be sure God would do something He said he would, while Mary on the other hand was asking how God would do it.

I didn’t even care how He would provide for us financially, I just knew that He would. The cool thing, we were only tested for 1 month (during this specific situation). It reminds me of those people who kept going, even when the end looked so far away. Their instructors knew they really only had to keep going for a little further. The instructors had a reason for what they were doing. If the participants had known they only had to keep it up for a little while longer, and had kept going, it wouldn’t have shown their will. If Jen and I knew God was going to so quickly provide, or if we had the money before we moved, it wouldn’t have shown our faith.

This faith doesn’t just apply to going through something, it may apply to not having something you want. I have seen people who felt God calling them somewhere, even to a ministry, but they didn’t go because they valued something or someone more. Then, after they decided to follow their own heart, it was shown that they would have had to only wait a little while longer, and God would have provided them a way to have the other thing or person they wanted also. Instead, they didn’t go where God had been calling them, and prematurely chose to pursue what they wanted. How tragic!

If you don’t know how you are going to get through something, keep having faith. If you want something that God is not giving you at this time, have faith. If you don’t want to go somewhere He is calling you, have faith. Here is one thing Jesus prayed for His disciples in John 17:13-18 – I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. And one final verse, Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
Join the Journey With The G’s email list (bonus – you get my Epic Road Trip Budget spreadsheet)
Buy my book, Planning an Epic Road Trip on any Budget.
Buy my book, Trusting God With 2 Cents: 22 Days To Becoming A Successful Christian Business Owner.
Shop on Amazon (no additional cost to you, this gives us a percentage of what you order).
Check out our resources page.
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel