Author Archives: 365 days of marriage

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About 365 days of marriage

I started this blog in April of 2011. At the time, Bret and I were wedding photographers and it was a way to share how marriage is more about the day to day and so much more than the wedding day itself. For about 5 years, I blogged about the joys and sorrows of the Christian walk, marriage, work, family and friends. I’ve blogged every day since a few weeks after I started. In May of 2015, we photographed our last wedding. Now, I have become passionate about simplicity, particularly in marriage, Christianity, business, travel and life. For a number of reasons, we have become minimalists. I’ve found that having simplicity makes life so much deeper, refreshing and joyful. I hope that this blog will help others see the benefits of living simply.

Day 1112 – How Mom and I Pulled a Fast One On Bret

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My dear husband is currently on his FOURTH wedding ring.

He lost the first while doing yard work in my parents’ yard.

He lost the second while camping in my parents’ yard.

He wore out the third, green is not a nice color on your finger.

He received the fourth from my parents. But, there is quite a story behind the fourth.

One of the things I truly love about Bret is that he is a minimalist and really doesn’t need much. He didn’t want me to spend our hard earned money on a new ring for him….but as he was leaving for New York for 2 weeks, I really wanted him to have a new ring.

I call my mom and ask if she’d be willing to get him a new ring for our anniversary. She talked to my dad and they agreed. But, the thing was, he might be a little hesitant to accept it. So, she comes up with a poem/story that had him convinced…

Here is the poem, which was in our anniversary card.

“Happy anniversary “three”
What shall we give to thee.
The traditional list says leather,
or crystal if you like that better!
My mind is tumbling round and round.
What can I give you, what can be found.
I’m thinking and thinking of just the right thing!
Hmm…maybe…a ring!
Bret, I know you need one, Jen would you be pleased?
To see a ring of leather or would crystal be better!
Nah…leather’s just too cheesy and crystal’s too much bling…
Oh my goodness, I’ve got it…I’m going to look for that ring!
Bret was camping among the outdoor pines…
if I could only find it…oh…what a find!
So out I went to sift and stir
The pine needles, dirt, leaves all in a whirl!
Oh my, oh my…what’s that I see…peeking out
over there…in the dirt by the tree!
A bit dirty, lacking luster,
to clean it would take more than a duster.
Now…off to a jeweler – could he make it look new
So on your anniversary I could give it to you?
So now that you have read this first
tell Jen to give you what’s in her purse!
So now you may open that little box
Does its reincarnation knock off your socks?
I know it’s not leather or crystal you have,
But a symbol of what a blessed marriage you have.

Love you both! Happy anniversary, love Mom and Dad.”

When Bret returned from New York, I noticed he didn’t have the ring on…so I said, um….where’s the ring? And he’s like, oh, I took it off the first day…it might be in my backpack….then I got a big “oh no” look on my face and said, “that was a brand new ring!” And told him the whole story of the “found ring.” So funny. He did find it in his backpack later. 🙂

Day 1110 – Guest Post – Bret’s Musings on Losing His Job

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“A few weeks ago, I lost my job. The timing could not have been worse. I was about two months away from starting the next semester, so I thought it would be hard to find work because nobody would hire someone if their schedule was going to change. But, I needed work now, not when I start school. Additionally, without going into details, it has been financially tough. Jen and I are going to be moving back in with her parents, which will be a humbling experience. Throw on top of that how the economy is, and everyone saying that nobody is hiring, and it seemed overwhelming. I was upset with God, asking Him why this had to happen when our finances were hurting the most, and when it would be so difficult to find a job. However, this caused me to really ask myself where my trust was. Was it in money, or my job, or my marriage, or was it in God? I had to re-shift my focus.

Jen and I have a board on our wall, on which we post things we are thankful for. At the top of the board, we have written, “Give thanks in all circumstances.” So, I put my termination paper up on the board, and after that, trusting in God has been much easier. Then things started to happen which I did not expect.

I found a job helping with Rebel Race. It’s one of the muddy, obstacle races that is trending now. Setting up the courses is tough work, and we are working 10-14 hours, whether it’s pouring rain or 100 degrees. The owner liked how hard I worked and asked me if I wanted to go to New York with them, which I did. They have also asked me if I can help them in the future. This job has been an answer to prayer for a number of reasons. First, we work many hours, which is fine because I have no other obligations right now, and it means I am actually making more money than I was before. Second, it didn’t require any certifications or previous experience. Third, I can work until I go back to school in the fall, which was a concern.

While working with the owner of Rebel Race, an entrepreneur himself, we would talk about starting businesses and being entrepreneurs. About this time, Jen went to a conference for women entrepreneurs and came back with so many ideas for our photography business. Also during this time, Jen and I were house-sitting for friends who own their own business, but were on vacation. These things culminated to me thinking, it would be nice to be my own boss. So, I have decided to start two businesses and write two books, one of which I have already begun writing. So many people think that job security is having a full time job working for someone else, but as I read someone say, “If you can lose your job from two words ‘you’re fired’, that is not job security.” I also find the idea of working my butt off to create a business, being the one responsible for how it does and how much money I make, and being able to take a vacation, very appealing.

I won’t say at this time what either of the businesses are, or what the books will be about, but I can’t wait to see where they go. I might fail at all four of them, but that doesn’t scare me. I can’t just start the businesses, because we need some money, so I have been applying to different places. Also, I will stay in college because getting the degree is useful for the markets and audiences that I will try to be reaching later on. All of this would not have come about if I had not lost my job. So, if you read this, or talk to me, don’t feel bad that I lost my job. Please don’t tell me you’re sorry, or that it sucks. I won’t be mad or anything, I understand my friends just want to console me, but I would ask that you rather encourage me. It really has been one of the best things to happen to me, and I have been able to give thanks in this circumstance.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Day 1108 – The Course That Bret Helped Build – Rebel Race, New Windsor, NY

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Through a series of events, Bret landed a temp job helping with the Rebel Race. He started helping in Monkton, Maryland and was invited to New York as well. While it was a little hard to be without him for nearly 2 weeks, it was a really great experience for him. It also makes us both VERY thankful for each other!

No picture today, but I wanted to share a video Bret found on YouTube of the race. It’s AWESOME. We were watching and he’s telling me things like “yep, I built that….that’s where I had to dig a pit….that’s where I bush-wacked a path…etc” then he was talking about how on the race day his main job was taking water and supplies to different water stations and staff at obstacles….and he says “oh man, I took water to that guy a LOT….oh hey! That’s me!!!” So, if you watch the video, he is seen at 7:20 and he’s wearing a yellow shirt.

Enjoy!