Day 3181 – How To Deal With Disappointment In Marriage – repost

This came up in my cleaning up the blog session this morning. While not a big marriage disappointment (not getting to take a trip), I think the advice still holds true for bigger disappointments.

Originally posted 2/15/16

Tomorrow marks 9 years since I met Bret. Because of this, we never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. As our dear friend Josh says, you should celebrate love every day. I joke a lot that we celebrate on the day we met so we can get cheap candy.

A bonus of Bret teaching is the number of holidays he gets off. Last year, President’s Day fell on our “met-ya-versary” and we did a mini getaway. It was so great. So this year, I thought, maybe we could do another one? As luck would have it, I found a great Groupon and we booked a 2 night stay Sunday through Tuesday. Bret had to be back to work Tuesday morning, which meant we’d have to leave super early.

As the weather report firmed up, Bret thought it wise to cancel the trip. So we did. I have to admit, I was really disappointment. I’ll be the first to tell you that our living situation is fantastic. It honestly feels like we’ve been on a trip for the last 10 months. But it’s always fun to go away. So once the trip was cancelled, I was really bummed. I even went as far as to look up hotels that were closer for a 1 night stay…before the weather got in the way. It was supposed to start around 11/12, so we figured it wouldn’t be so bad getting home. Bret was on board, but then we decided it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Again, I was disappointed.

Here’s what we did instead…

Thursday night, we went on a date to a restaurant nearby. Delicious food and good conversation.
Saturday, we got coffee and enjoyed good conversation.
Sunday after church, we tried a buffet and it was one of the best buffets we’ve ever been to. After we got home, we watched a movie, read and chatted. We were able to watch The Walking Dead and Talking Dead live.
This morning, as we walked out the door to grab Dunkin for breakfast, it had already started to snow…a good 3 hours before the weather had called for. I realized, Bret made a really great decision. It would’ve been a mess coming home from the second option of a hotel.

While at first, I was really disappointed….and I let Bret know I was disappointed (I think a big key to dealing with disappointment). I told him since we couldn’t go, I wanted to do something….or at least know what we would do. I’m thankful for that conversation, because it has been a truly wonderful weekend and celebration of us.

How do you deal with disappointment in your marriage?



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