Tag Archives: sobriety

Day 3412 – How To Make Your Sober Friend Feel Special

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Sometimes one of the harder things about not drinking anymore is that I don’t get to order fun and fancy drinks. It’s a totally silly little thing, and it’s not something I dwell on often.

But sometimes, I go to a restaurant that has a really cool drink….for me…..a non-drinker. I was so thankful that Olive Garden has such a wide variety of non-alcoholic drinks. I felt special and important. It’s a little thing, but it means so much to me.

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Day 3398 – Why I Shared About My Alcoholism

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When I was first asked if I would share a testimony at my previous church, I thought I would talk about some awesome things God had done in our lives up to that point. I had put together something, but it was just “eh.”

A few months prior to being asked, I had a moment of “I have to get up and write RIGHT now” where I wrote about my drinking and sobriety. At the time, I thought it as more of a “get it out of my head but never share with anyone” type of thing. Then one day in church, someone else shared something deeply personal in her testimony.

On that particular day, we were helping out in both services, during the second listen of her testimony, I pulled up what I had written about my drinking. Reading through, I thought, I have to share this. This person sharing their struggles, led me to share mine, which has led to others sharing with me.

If you had told the drunk/hungover me that I would put all of it out there, I would have laughed at you and never thought it possible. Then again, that Jennilyn would probably not believe she’d ever get sober.

So if you have something to share, share it. Even if it’s just with a friend. As Thrice would say, “Every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart.”

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Day 3381 – When Did I Know I Was An Alcoholic – repost

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Originally posted 8/6/17

I’m working through my second draft of my memoir, and I’m happy to see it taking somewhat of a logical shape.

Yesterday, we had so much fun hanging out with some friends at a beautiful waterfront bar. Chatting with one of my friends, we talked about what was success for my first book, which was that one person’s mindset was changed.

In my current draft of the memoir, I wrote “I don’t want to write this book. Thinking back to these times doesn’t make me happy. Trying to read other memoirs about drinking is hard to do. I want to forget it all happened. I want to leave those memories in the past. Why would I ever want to go back there? Why would I want to share even more about the things I did? I suppose, if just one person is helped. If one person can move past addiction and treat it finally as a sin, it is worth it.”

I think I have my goal for this book.

So, when did I know I was an alcoholic?
Probably in the few days after my last drink. Here’s a snapshot from my journal, which is part thinking out loud, part praying, in the days after that last day.

September 29, 2014 (first day sober)
“I do enjoy it and I have had some great times, yet I’ve quit so many times. Can I really not control myself or am I trying to prove to myself that I can? Am I holding on to sin? Should I cut it loose? Do I need to cut it out completely? Truly? Forever? Is it standing in my way?”

On October 3, 2014
“Thank you also for the clear “it’s time” to quit drinking. Thank you for the strength already against temptation. Let it open doors to honest communications about how Christians aren’t perfect.”

Almost three years later and I think it’s so true – that it can open lines of communications. People are shocked when they hear about my sobriety – “but you’re a Christian!”
Thinking back to the months following this moment, I remember thinking that there is almost more stigma against people who don’t drink than people who do. Look at all the memes about drinking at the end of the day, or that say “how could I ever quit drinking, I’d be boring!” I was more embarrassed and nervous to say “no thank you” to a drink, then when I was downing bottle after bottle.

I’m so thankful for sober Jen, because she can go to places like we went yesterday, and remember every minute. I really hope we can live near the water some day.

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Day 3378 – World Mental Health Day – or – I Learned So Much About Myself After I Got Sober

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When I got sober four years ago, so many things changed in my life. Some things were expected – more money in my account, less weight on my body, overall better sense of well-being. But there were a number of things I didn’t expect.

I think the biggest was how being sober forced me to really get to know myself and deal with the things that I found. I saw how I have a tendency to use any excuse to do the things I want to do. When I was drinking, it would be “oh, I’m having a good/terrible/wonderful/awful day, let’s have a drink!” Now it’s, “oh, Bret is off work, I’ll take off work too!” Recognizing this about myself allows me to really dig into the why of it all – bottom line, I can be a pretty lazy person.

Another thing I learned is practicing extreme self-care. There are things that upset me, things that make me happy, and things that I think other people think is weird. I’ve learned I HAVE to say no to things that upset me, oh heck YES to things that make me happy and accept that I am who I am and I cannot control how people see me.

And the best is that people can change. I was locked in alcoholism for years, but God freed me from the shackles. In the years since I have changed in SO many other ways.

If someone you know is struggling with something, and you have thoughts that they’ll never change – take heart, change is possible. Oh and know that sobriety is FUN! I mean, look at all this fun I had AFTER getting sober.

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Day 3370 – You Never Know What’s Going On Behind The Scenes

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As I scrolled through my On This Day (much later in the morning thanks to blocking Facebook on my phone), I noticed this post, How Is The New Reading Plan Going?, where I talked about doing a devotional plan with Bret.

I wrote this post a few days after I got sober. I said this “Up until this morning, we’ve only missed one evening!” What I didn’t say in that particular post is that the one evening, I got plastered. I was so drunk, we couldn’t read together.

There have been many times on my blog where I only share part of a story, there are times when I cannot share the full story for a myriad of reasons. It got me thinking that we need to be aware of this in our day to day lives. There are folks out there going through things you would never know.

Sometimes it’s good things like carrying a large check into the bank that will finally pay off the debt that has taken years to pay off. Sometimes it’s the death of someone, and their pain comes across as anger. Sometimes it’s a secret, long carried, and never or very rarely shared.

I don’t think we can every truly, 100% know someone. There are just too many layers and experiences and moments that cannot be shared. As you’re going through your day today, remember that you never know what’s going on behind the scenes of someone else’s life.

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
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