Category Archives: Marriage

Day 2912 – Jennilyn’s Memory Day

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July 1st will always be a big deal to me.

On July 1, 2008, Bret proposed.

On July 1, 2011, I put in my notice at my last 9-5 job.

I’m not sure if anything that major will happen today, but I will definitely spend the day thankful for where my life has taken me, and look forward to the steps I’m taking to take my life where I want to be.

Do you have any special dates that you can never forget?

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Day 2911 – Recap Of My First Personal Retreat

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Whew! What a great retreat! I’ve always wanted to lock myself away to write and think for a few days, I’m glad I was finally able to do so. Just going made this a successful retreat.

It was a beautiful drive down.

Of course we had to get Krispy Kreme!

We did go over our $227.38 budget. We spent $280.15. But a few things about that. $21.47 of that was spent via giftcards we were given, and money already on my Dunkin account. We spent about $10-15 more on a tip because of a really great server. We have leftover food and gas, so in my mind, it wasn’t THAT much more. If you look at the cash spent, we spent $258.68. And I wouldn’t take a single purchase back.

This was the first time we stayed at a cabin in a state park. I will definitely be doing that again! It was nice not having to set up a tent, and pack up a tent. Our set up and clean up were very easy. We did have a critter trying to eat the cabin early in the morning but that just goes with the territory. There were a few points when Bret was on a walk or in the restroom, when I thought I might get eaten by squirrels. They were SO brazen in how close they got.

That’s a squirrel under the back corner of my chair!

Critters seemed to be the theme of the retreat. While walking one day, we noticed a deer. Because of our angle and the sun, we thought….is that a white deer or just the sun? Upon further investigating, and terrible quiet walking on my part, we got close enough to find, yes, it was a white deer! After a little research, it turns out it’s a Piebald deer, and they are really rare. How cool to see something so rare!

We’re listening to a great book called Keep Moving by Dick Van Dyke, which was a great intro and outro to the retreat. He talks about aging and it is just a fantastic ride. I highly recommend it….and make sure you get the audio book read by the author.

I’m really glad that we got breakfast on the way home, because I have to say, it was one of THE best I’ve ever had.

It seems that this retreat was also about doing things I’ve always wanted to do. Every time I drive home from the beach, I’m tempted to stop at one of the stands or shops with produce and Smith Island Cakes. I always see them, think, ooooo, I want to stop!, but I never do. There is a twinge of regret each time. Yesterday, I saw the big sign for Smith Island Cakes (at this point, I thought we had passed all the shops), safely slammed on the breaks, and turned in. It took a few minutes to decide between a cookies and creme or a peanut butter slice, but I settled on peanut butter. Oh my goodness. So worth the stop!

I learned a lot about myself this week, and I got confirmation on things that I suppressed about myself. I’m embracing me as me. I cried, I laughed, I grew. I read four books. I highly recommend taking a retreat like this. Have a few goals before you go….but don’t make them so large you can’t hit them. For me, the biggest success was just going. It was something I always wanted to do. While I had 3 pages of notes, questions, and goals, I accepted that what would happen would happen. My biggest takeaway was that I can have a retreat mindset every day. I experienced so much growth and thinking just preparing for the time away. I’ve found a few hacks that work for me to recreate this “time away” feeling, so I can keep growing, even though I’m at home. Just last night, I cranked up my classic music and read from a book I’ve been trying to read for months. I learned that I make WAY too many excuses for things. I can’t wait to see how the things I recognized in myself and my work change over the next few weeks.

Have you ever taken a personal retreat? Let me know in the comments below!

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Day 2909 – How You Can Plan A Personal Retreat For Roughly $200

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I’m writing this two days before it will actually post….because I’m ON my retreat right now! Woo hoo!

I’ve briefly mentioned a retreat over the past few days, but I didn’t go into too much depth. My life is great, I love my work, my writing, my marriage. But for the last 3 years, I haven’t had a “Jen project.” I’ve heard of people taking personal retreats, locking themselves away in a hotel to write, and I’ve always wanted to do that. We had a little bit of money left over to celebrate, and I received some money for my birthday. All told, I figured I had a budget of $227.38. I went back and forth on if I should include Bret or not. Ultimately, we decided it would make the most sense if he came along.

Oh friends, I spent SO much time looking for a place. I scoured Groupon and Living Social. I searched my hotel chains. What gave me a breakthrough was looking for places near a Dunkin Donuts. Yes, you read that right. It’s funny, sure, but one piece of advice I gleaned while researching creating a personal retreat was – how do you want your retreat to feel? I spent time thinking about this, and thinking about things that were important. I wanted to have access to Dunkin, because it makes me happy. I wanted to have access to showers and bathrooms. I didn’t want to travel too far, because I wanted most of the time spent at the location of the retreat.

When I was about to book my hotel, I happened to see reviews of the hotel….um, hello, look at the reviews first guys. Oy. Bed bugs, a smoke smelling room…..in a non-smoking room. All kinds of “not quite what I’m looking for” in my retreat. So, back to the drawing board.

Then I thought about a cabin again. I had looked at a ton of airbnb’s across MD, VA, WV, PA….but nothing really stuck. Ok, well, the State Parks have cabins…I did a statewide search for cabins with electricity. And that my friends, is when the magic happened. I found the perfect cabin in Martinak State Park! With some more searching, I realized that NO one was staying in the whole loop we booked our cabin, the whole time. There are folks checking out the morning we arrived (yesterday), and there are folks arriving tomorrow (after we leave). AND there is a Dunkin 1.4 miles away.

So far, we have spent $107.23 on lodging. We’re estimating $20-30 for gas, $20-30 for firewood, and the rest for food. I’ll do a follow up post with how things went and how much we actually spent.

To plan out the retreat, I spent several hours rereading some of my journals. I took notes on things that spoke me. I realize there are a few things I need to meditate on – specifically how my life has changed over the last few years, I want to spend time just thinking about things. I thought about questions I want to ask myself. And I want to work on my memoir about my alcoholism.

What I’ve learned so far about myself while rereading my journals, is that I really need to journal more! I loved looking at life through my 19 year old eyes, and other various ages. It is so so so important to journal!

After I finished reviewing my journals, I typed up my notes, and organized everything into categories. I’m still fleshing out the “schedule” at the writing of this post. But the best “how to” advice I can give you – craft something that YOU enjoy, not what you think you should do. What will speak to your soul the most? Where are you most at peace so you can really focus on what needs attention?

Have you ever taken a personal retreat? What did you learn? What mistakes did you make? Let me know in the comments below!

(This photo is from our local State Park, stay tuned for photos from this new place!)

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
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Day 2907 – Happy Canoe Day – or – Remember That Time I Almost Died?

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When I found out today was canoe day, I immediately thought about our near death experience in a canoe. I haven’t been in a canoe since that day back in 2009. I have gone kayaking, but not canoeing. Perhaps this week, while we’re on our retreat (stay tuned for more details about where we’re going and why!), we’ll rent a canoe and try again. Perhaps not…

Here is the original story, posted on my Facebook account back in 2009.

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On Friday, while Bret was at work, I opened a book I hadn’t read for several years. A quote jumped out of the page: “Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or the last time. Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.” – Betty Smith. I thought about that that evening and the following morning. Bret and I had decided to go canoeing several weeks ago on Saturday, since it was his first official Saturday off since he started working at Dick’s.

When we arrived at the river, it was noticeably higher than normal. Bret commented a few times at how high it was and also how fast it was moving. He had just canoed the same stretch about 2 months before. Instead of really thinking about the situation, we said a quick prayer and put in. For about 4 minutes, it was glorious, on an adventure with my new husband in the beautiful wilderness. That quickly changed when we went a few hundred yards and I noticed a fallen tree across the entire river.

We tried to paddle to one side but couldn’t and hit the tree around the middle. The canoe sided up next to the tree, tipped and we both fell in. My first thought was, ha, I knew we’d fall in. Immediately after, I was under the water and then the canoe was turning so that it covered my direct pathway up to the top. I had one second to think, oh my gosh, I’m going to drown, right now. Then I felt a pull, I hit my head twice, and I popped out the other side, backwards. I saw Bret pop up right after.

He had more time under, to think about going up for air, wondering if there was enough time to go back for me. I was able to grab a paddle floating by, we swam to shore, I got out and he ventured down stream for more of our floating items. He was only able to grab the car pads, that keep the canoe off the car. He then tried to dislodge the canoe, which was somewhere under the water where we went down. I was on the shore yelling down to him, asking what a concussion looked like, what were the symptoms, etc. after about 10 minutes of this, he decided we might need to take me to a doctor.

We walked back on a trail on the side of the river, where we ran into a man running with his dogs. He asked if we were going to put in…while we’re standing there with one paddle, 4 car pads and completely soaked. We half-laughed and said we already had and almost drowned and that the canoe was stuck. He offered to help us fish it out, even after we told him the danger of the situation.

After putting his dogs away, we walked back and he saw the tree and agreed at the danger. Just seconds later, the canoe popped out the other side and we took off down the trail. The guys jumped in and I ran along the path. It was about a ¼ mile down the river that they finally got a hold of it and got it out. Once we got it out, the guy ran off and we carried the canoe from there. The canoe had sustained some damage as well…the front part, where the rope is attached, was torn out, there was a large split on one side, about 2-3 inches wide. We were able to rig it on the car and get back to the house.

Later that day, we sat down and read from Facing Your Giants, a book we hadn’t read from in months, at least 4 months, and the chapter was on family. There was a portion about treasuring and honoring your spouse. While part of what spoke to me through all of this was God’s amazing, undeserved, overwhelming Grace and Mercy on our lives.

We went back to the spot the next day, and there was actually another tree directly underneath where we had flipped, as well as many branches. There was really only about 4-6 feet of a clear shot through. If we had been feet off, we wouldn’t be here. If the water hadn’t pulled us through, we wouldn’t be here. Also, if we hadn’t left at the moment that we did and came back to the tree with the guy when we did, the canoe would’ve been long gone…even though it is probably beyond repair.

The thing that has had more impact has been God’s hand in the small details…me reading from the book I hadn’t touched in years! And then that we would run into the guy at the exact moment…who, I might add, we might not have talked to if I hadn’t stooped down to pet his dog…and if he hadn’t convinced us to go back at just that moment, we wouldn’t have the canoe. And then the book we hadn’t read in months, right at the perfect chapter. I can think of thousands of reasons for the experience…to humble us in the face of the outdoors and our own pride…to remind us of how short our lives are…to appreciate every moment…but mostly, I am reminded of how deeply our Father loves us, to love us in large things, like protecting our lives, but also small, details that only you and Him would know about. What a great God!

….just imagine four more feet of muddy water and this is what the river looked like…

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Day 2900 – Reflections On 2900 Days Of Marriage

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I can’t believe we’ll hit 3000 days marriage in only 100 days. As they say, the days are long and the years are short. I have to say, I love that I’ve kept a blog for over 6 years, so that I can look back on our marriage and life together. We have experienced so much together, and grown so much. I love the people we are growing into. The past few months have been especially noteworthy. In some ways, I can’t believe how much we’ve grown. There have been many mindset shifts about life, money, home, and more. One thing we’re told is that people can’t change. If you marry someone with a bad habit or something you don’t like, you’re going to have to deal with it, because people don’t change. I am so so so glad that’s not true! If that were true, we’d still be in debt, I’d still be an alcoholic, and Bret wouldn’t be building a successful business. I think the better preparation is – people can change, but it takes time…and patience.

I cannot wait to see where we are on Day 5800….and beyond.

I love ya B, here’s to another couple trips around the sun!

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Did you like what you read? Here’s some ways you can support us and this blog!
Join our Facebook group, Planning an Epic Road Trip on Any Budget
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