About 365 days of marriage

I started this blog in April of 2011. At the time, Bret and I were wedding photographers and it was a way to share how marriage is more about the day to day and so much more than the wedding day itself. For about 5 years, I blogged about the joys and sorrows of the Christian walk, marriage, work, family and friends. I’ve blogged every day since a few weeks after I started. In May of 2015, we photographed our last wedding. Now, I have become passionate about simplicity, particularly in marriage, Christianity, business, travel and life. For a number of reasons, we have become minimalists. I’ve found that having simplicity makes life so much deeper, refreshing and joyful. I hope that this blog will help others see the benefits of living simply.

Day 3091 – Minimalism Series – Minimizing Your Social World And Media Consumption

Posted on December 27, 2017 by 365 days of marriage

I’ve grown and changed a lot over the last five years, from getting sober, to moving a lot, to changing careers several times, and just a whole bunch of different mindset shifts. Through all of this growth, I’ve learned how to be honest with myself and true to myself. There are things that can make me upset, there are things that are draining, there are things that I see online that will deeply affect me for hours or days.

To help keep my social feeds healthy, I have created friends and pages lists. This helps me to keep my mind and soul protected.

You can set time limits and night time/morning time cut offs. I turn off my work notifications from about 5 pm – 8/9 am every day, and none on weekends (except for special circumstances).

I’ve also learned that it really throws off my work week if I work out of the apartment multiple days in the row. So I take very special care to keep my out of apartment days spread out. Again, there are some special circumstances at different times of the year (I’m looking at you week before Christmas!)

Here’s an example of what happens when I work out of the apartment too many days in a row

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Day 3090 – Minimalism Series – Take Small Steps To Figure Things Out

Posted on December 26, 2017 by 365 days of marriage

One thing we encourage others about minimalism is that it takes time. It’s a process, sometimes a very long process. We are continually refining things. You don’t have to make sweeping changes all at once, you can do it little by little.

My favorite “how to figure out what clothes to keep” trick is this:
Turn all of your hangers around now. When you hang something back up after you’ve worn it, hang it up the right way. After a few months, give away the clothes you haven’t worn. Maybe give your more special occasion clothes a little more time.

I’m taking my own advice and turned around all my shirts!

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Day 3089 – Minimalism Series – No Christmas Presents

Posted on December 25, 2017 by 365 days of marriage

One way we were minimalists before we even knew to call it that was not giving Christmas presents.

I stopped buying Christmas presents about 9 years ago. Like most things in my life, I started/stopped doing it for a superficial reason but the deeper reasons that resulted from the change became very important to me. I stopped Christmas gifts because of my own debt and the example of a close family from church who didn’t do gifts. I thought, huh, that’s interesting. So, I stopped. I’ll admit, that first Christmas was a little awkward, but my friends and family know I don’t do gifts. I still get a few gifts here and there (which I totally appreciate!) but now it’s expected that I won’t give one back.

As time went on, I still didn’t give Christmas gifts. Bret felt the same about giving gifts, so we didn’t. Looking back, I can see how those deeper reasons were a lot of the points the author of the above article made. Since we’re minimalists, we’re all about less stuff. And in turn, we don’t want to add to someone else’s “stuff.” It also frees us to give generously at other times of the year. The unexpected gifts are the best, in my opinion. 🙂

But I have to say, the biggest benefit has been a nearly stress-free holiday season, every year. There’s no “what am I going to get XXX for Christmas?” or “I have SO much to do!” Honestly, the biggest stress of our holidays is getting to and from the airport and flight delays. Since we’re not stressed about all the “stuff you have to do” at the holidays, we can truly sit back and reflect about the real reason for Christmas (pssst, it’s Jesus).

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Day 3088 – Minimalism Series – What Is Minimalism?

Posted on December 24, 2017 by 365 days of marriage

As we’re gearing up for a new year, I wanted to do a series for y’all about minimalism. I’ll share some things we’ve learned over the past few years and give you some tips to make changes in your life.

For today, I wanted to answer the question “what is minimalism?” What I love about it is that it can have a million definitions and I don’t think any of them would be wrong.

To me, minimalism is minimizing the bad (and the good) to make room for the great.

If you want to get rid of a lot of things just so you can have a massive movie collection, I think you’re still a minimalist, for example. Or if you have a big house with furniture, you can still be a minimalist.

What minimalism has taught me is that is causes you to ask why more often about what you own, as well as the things you do, more often and more deeply. It’s not about getting rid of all of your clothes, it’s about asking – “Do I wear this? Do I enjoy wearing it? If it doesn’t fit right, why do I keep it?” Some things are harder to let go than others, to be sure, but it’s a continual process. I can tell you, about 90% of the clothes in my closet bring me joy and I would call them my favorite clothes.

It also makes me more purposeful in the things I own and do. I don’t just whittle down my to do list and social calendar for no reason. Everything I do and everyone I see is on purpose. This gives me more time to hit the businesses hard, to read a lot, and hang out with Bret.

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Day 3087 – Don’t Drink And Drive This Holiday Season – Getting Arrested Stinks – Take It From Someone Who Has Experienced It – repost

Posted on December 23, 2017 by 365 days of marriage

In light of the upcoming holidays, I wanted to reshare this post. In some respects, I wish I had gotten a ride that night I was arrested, Lord knows I had TONS of people offering. But in other respects, it changed my life. That said, I don’t wish it on anyone. A cab or Uber will cost you SO much less than a DUI.

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originally posted 12/23/15
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Yesterday, I was listening to a sermon and the pastor was talking about how God will protect us until we have lived out our testimony.

“Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.” Luke 10:19 ESV

As I drove, I passed the public service announcements on the highway, along the lines of “spend the holidays with your family, not in jail, drive sober.” The sermon and those signs got me thinking about my past, near death experiences and stupid things I’ve done.

I was arrested for drinking and driving 9 years ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t pulled over, I might have driven off the road that night. Getting a DUI cost me thousands and thousands of dollars. It was part of the reason I came to our marriage with $30,000 in debt. It was something I was so ashamed of for almost all of the 9 years since. So, what makes me want to share this embarrassing fact about myself? Well, I hope it’s a warning for you. Friends, it’s NOT worth drinking and driving. It’s SO dangerous, not to mention expensive. Seriously, spend the money to take a cab or crash on a couch wherever you are. Deal with the minor hassle/cost. Thankfully, no one was hurt when I drove, but there are so many stories where that’s not the case.

I know I’ve been hinting about sharing my full testimony about drinking and how I quit* for a couple of months, well, I have a date on the calendar at my church! I will be sharing on January 10th, 2016 at the 9 a.m. service as well as the 11 a.m. service. Our church is in White Marsh, Maryland and I’d love it if you came! The video** will be available online later and I will share it here, along with my full text.

I love y’all, my dear readers. Please use my mistakes as a lesson!

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* Actual text of testimony.
** Video of me giving my testimony (recorded after I shared it at church)

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365daysofmarriage

Simplicity in Marriage, Christianity, Travel, Business, Life

Author Archives: 365 days of marriage

About 365 days of marriage

Day 3091 – Minimalism Series – Minimizing Your Social World And Media Consumption

Day 3090 – Minimalism Series – Take Small Steps To Figure Things Out

Day 3089 – Minimalism Series – No Christmas Presents

Day 3088 – Minimalism Series – What Is Minimalism?

Day 3087 – Don’t Drink And Drive This Holiday Season – Getting Arrested Stinks – Take It From Someone Who Has Experienced It – repost